The digital age has introduced a new layer of complexity to breakups, with location-tracking apps blurring the lines between connection and surveillance. For individuals like Esme Gordon-Craig, the process of ending a relationship now involves a "digital breakup" that extends beyond simply unfollowing someone on social media.
Gordon-Craig describes a recent experience where, while heading to a pub, she checked her ex-boyfriend's location on the Find My app. This habit, she notes, has become a common practice among her peers and even extends to casual acquaintances. The app allows users to see the real-time location of friends, family, and, in her case, an ex-boyfriend she hasn't seen in person for two years. She also acknowledges that her ex continues to track her location, as he remains listed among those who can see her.
This practice is not limited to personal relationships. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver and his wife Jools have even created content about using tracking apps like Life360 to monitor each other, highlighting the growing prevalence of such technology in everyday life.
Gordon-Craig's relationship with her ex began in early 2023, and after a month, they started sharing their locations. She found convenience in knowing his whereabouts, such as anticipating his arrival home or if he was running late. However, after their breakup less than a year later, the digital disentanglement proved challenging.
Deciding whether to remove an ex from location-sharing apps presents a dilemma. Gordon-Craig admits that despite knowing it would be beneficial for her mental health to stop tracking her ex, she hesitated to relinquish that final digital connection. She also wished to appear indifferent to the breakup, wanting to avoid him seeing that she had removed him from her location sharing, which is signaled by a "No Location Found" status.
This ability to track an ex's movements 24/7, Gordon-Craig confesses, led to an obsession. She would check his location on Saturday nights, questioning if he was on a date or if another woman was with him at his home. She also worried that he might be doing the same, monitoring her social media activity and movements.
For the weeks following the breakup, Gordon-Craig felt compelled to maintain a more active social life, aware that her ex might be watching. While she resisted the urge to engineer an "accidental" encounter, friends had to intervene at times.
Looking back, Gordon-Craig recognizes that tracking her ex prolonged the pain of their separation by serving as a constant reminder of his existence. Despite this realization, she continues to track his location, stating that as long as he can see hers, she will continue to monitor his.