When faced with overwhelming circumstances, singer Taylor Swift employs a personal coping mechanism: a mantra that reminds her of her agency. Swift revealed in August during the Icon Sessions, presented by the Recording Academy’s Songwriters & Composers Wing, that when stressed, she tells herself, “You chose this. You chose this every day. You could have opted out of this any day before it got unmanageably big.” She adds, “And I decided not to because I love it that much.”
This psychological technique, known as a coping mantra, can be a valuable tool for anyone feeling stuck or powerless, even in less public arenas than Swift's. Clinical psychologist Jill Stoddard explains that distress often arises from feeling like events are being imposed upon you. Reminding oneself that a situation was a chosen path, and that choices come with consequences, can restore a sense of control.
A coping mantra is a concise phrase designed to ground an individual when their thoughts race toward worst-case scenarios. According to psychiatrist Jasmine Sawhne, stress triggers a fight-or-flight response, making rational thought difficult. A simple mantra provides an anchor for an overloaded brain, allowing a moment to regain perspective and make deliberate choices.
Creating an effective mantra involves making an offer the brain can accept. Phrases predicting positive outcomes, such as “Everything will be OK,” or affirming a current feeling, like “I am confident,” may be rejected by an anxious mind if they don’t align with reality. Therapists like Alison McKleroy suggest that mantras should focus on controllable aspects, such as Swift's acknowledgment of her ongoing choice. Stoddard’s mantra, “I’ll get it done. I always do,” works because it is a verifiable truth for her.
The most effective mantras are simple, specific, memorable, and truthful. Instead of generic statements, it’s beneficial to identify the specific ways stress manifests. If disaster prediction is a common reaction, McKleroy suggests phrases like “I can’t know that yet” or “I don’t have a crystal ball.” Sawhne, who juggles multiple responsibilities, uses the mantra “I don’t have to solve everything right now” to manage feelings of being overwhelmed by multiple problems simultaneously.
Conciseness is key, with a recommended length of about four words to ensure it can be recalled quickly during moments of heightened stress. Short mantras require less cognitive bandwidth. For perfectionists, a brief phrase can prevent overthinking. Dr. Amanda Hardis uses “Discomfort, not danger” as her mantra.
Mantras are intended to be used to maintain function while difficult feelings persist, rather than to eliminate the feelings entirely. Hardis’s experience with a fear of flying, where she repeated “This may suck, but I can handle it” during turbulence, exemplifies this. The goal is not to eradicate anxiety but to enable action despite its presence.
Originality is not a requirement for a successful mantra. Borrowed phrases, like therapist Anna Elton’s use of “Just keep swimming,” can be effective if they resonate personally. Elton also uses “If it were easy, everyone would do it” for challenging projects. The key is to find words that sound authentic. Elton recommends saying potential mantras aloud to gauge their personal fit.
A mantra becomes more effective when practiced. Stoddard advises using new coping tools during low-stakes situations, such as being slightly late or opening a routine email, to build familiarity before a crisis. This allows the mantra to become an accessible resource when needed.
Visual cues can also reinforce mantras. McKleroy has used phrases like “Do it now” placed in visible locations to help overcome procrastination and “Let it be simple” above her desk. These reminders serve to keep the intended message present in the environment where it is most needed. Alternatively, a symbolic object, like a stone with a circle drawn on it, can serve as a tactile reminder, representing simplicity and helping to ground the user.