Survey: Less Than Half of Single Americans Believe in Finding 'The One'

A recent survey indicates that a significant portion of single Americans harbor doubts about ever finding their ideal partner, with just 41% expressing confidence in locating "the one." The research, which polled 2,000 adults—equally divided between those who are single and those in relationships—also found that one-fifth of individuals currently in a relationship do not believe their partner is their true soulmate.

Despite these sentiments, the search for a soulmate continues, with many individuals reporting mistaken beliefs about finding "the one" multiple times in the past. On average, respondents have misidentified someone as their soulmate twice, though a substantial number have experienced this disappointment even more frequently.

However, optimism about finding a compatible partner persists for some. Approximately 26% of Americans still hold the belief that their ideal match exists, with those in the Gen X demographic showing the strongest adherence to this traditional view (28%), compared to Gen Z (19%). Furthermore, one in eight individuals believe that multiple soulmates are possible within a lifetime, suggesting a willingness to redefine romantic ideals.

While monogamy remains the preferred relationship structure for 47% of respondents, the definition of commitment is becoming more fluid. Gen Z, in particular, is leading a trend toward more open and flexible relationship models, with 24% expressing a preference for these structures.

The survey, conducted by Talker Research for LELO, explored the current dating landscape and potential reasons for the difficulties in finding a suitable partner, irrespective of desired relationship style. A prevailing sentiment among respondents is a perceived loss of dating prowess; 56% admit a lack of confidence in their current dating abilities, with women reporting feeling more out of practice than men (60% vs. 47%).

Many daters attribute their struggles to the constantly changing rules of courtship, with 18% feeling that the norms of dating have become unclear. This uncertainty has contributed to the average person going without a successful date for nearly 18 months.

Luka Matutinović, chief marketing officer at LELO, commented on the challenges, stating, "Dating can often feel overwhelming, especially today when traditional rules no longer apply, and expectations keep shifting higher and higher." He added, "Feeling like you’ve lost your ‘game’ doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t know how to flirt or seduce; it simply shows that the dating landscape is evolving and you need to take time to get familiar with it."

Matutinović advised, "Stepping back into the dating world takes courage, and it should be fun, not an opportunity to overthink your skills, like 56% of respondents who admit they’re not confident. Before you dive in, be sure to know and understand your needs and desires so you don’t get lost in the need for connection."

Regarding first dates, certain activities remain popular, including sharing a meal (65%), discussing relationship expectations (61%), and a first kiss (47%). Conversely, topics such as past relationship history (46%), physical intimacy (56%), exclusivity discussions (45%), and financial matters (44%) are generally considered appropriate for later dates.

Several factors are cited as contributing to the difficulties in modern dating, with "ghosting" culture being a primary concern for 23% of respondents. Unrealistic expectations set by social media (18%) and "profile performativeness," where individuals do not match their online personas, are also significant issues (16%). Gen Z specifically points to "situationships" and commitment difficulties stemming from an "overload of choice" as key challenges (17% each).

Self-reflection also revealed personal habits that complicate dating, such as overlooking "red flags" due to strong chemistry (16%), remaining in situationships for the attention (14%), and prioritizing a spark over fundamental incompatibility (13%). Some individuals admit to mistaking possessiveness for passion (11%) or playing hard to get (11%).

These dating challenges extend to established relationships. Communicating evolving needs is a significant hurdle for 23% of coupled individuals, while 18% struggle to maintain romance amidst daily routines.

Matutinović concluded, "By taking things slow and trusting your intuition, you lay a strong foundation for long-term satisfaction. So, finding ‘the one’ is about being confident and not rushing into things. Whether you’re exploring a new connection or reigniting the spark in a long-term relationship, honesty and vulnerability are your greatest assets."

The survey methodology involved an online poll of 1,000 single Americans and 1,000 Americans in relationships, conducted between August 25 and August 31, 2026. This research was commissioned by LELO and administered by Talker Research.