Former Trump administration official Stephen Miller's past dating advice, suggesting men should openly display their support for Donald Trump to appear masculine and attract women, has been met with criticism from relationship experts. In a 2024 appearance on "Jesse Watters Primetime," Miller advised single men that "the best thing you can do is wear your Trump support on your sleeve" to "be the alpha" and have a "fantastic" dating life.
Miller's advice suggested that being a "proud and loud Trump supporter" demonstrates that a man is "not a beta" and is therefore more attractive. This notion, however, runs counter to recent survey data. An American Enterprise Institute survey indicated that nearly three-quarters of college-educated women and 52% of all single women surveyed are less likely to date a Trump supporter. A separate 2024 survey by dating app Coffee Meets Bagel found that 80% of women would not date someone who supports Trump.
Experts also take issue with Miller's emphasis on being an "alpha." This concept, prevalent in manosphere content, often promotes a reductive form of masculinity characterized by dominance, emotional detachment, and a distrust of women. Licensed sexologist Sophie Roos noted that the "alpha male" trope can lead men to adopt "hard and macho" personas they are not comfortable with, hindering their ability to form healthy, long-term relationships. Roos stated that such advice "never be able to create a happy long-term relationship in which you both feel good."
Lorain Moorehead, a licensed psychotherapist, echoed these concerns, suggesting that "alpha male" advice oversimplifies complex issues and can carry "manipulative or domineering undertones." She added that such advice often targets young men during vulnerable developmental stages, offering simplistic answers that appeal to a desire for control in the often unpredictable realm of dating.
Relationship experts suggest that instead of adhering to rigid "alpha" archetypes, men seeking successful relationships should focus on developing emotional intelligence, kindness, and respect. Caroline Millet, a former matchmaker, advises men to seek guidance from confident women about their preferences and to focus on self-investment, interests, and hobbies. Moorehead recommends exploring tenets of secure attachment and adopting a more moderate approach to building connections.