Growing up in the Boston suburbs, Jason Prokowiew lived in fear of his father, the youngest of 13 children whose own childhood was marked by trauma during the Nazi invasion of Belarus. Snippets of his father's past were shared, often during holidays, but Prokowiew was too afraid to ask for details. His father's alcoholism and verbal abuse were a constant presence, with Prokowiew often hiding in his room to avoid his father's taunts and physical aggression.

A Glimpse into a Traumatic Childhood

Prokowiew's father was ten years old when the Nazis invaded his home country in 1941. Separated from family during a summer camp, he experienced a harrowing journey on foot to Minsk after his camp was attacked. Upon arrival, he discovered his home destroyed and his mother and sister missing. For the next year, he survived by stealing or begging for food from Nazi occupiers, often sleeping hungry in abandoned apartments alongside other orphans.

His father's stories painted a picture of survival in a war-torn land. When Prokowiew was ten and his father 58, the elder Prokowiew was hospitalized for cirrhosis of the liver. Doctors warned that further drinking would be fatal, and he quit alcohol. However, his cruel demeanor persisted, with his verbal jabs continuing to affect his son.

Uncovering the Past

During his first semester of college in Ohio, Prokowiew's Russian politics professor showed the film "Come and See," which depicted the Nazi invasion of Belarus. The film's brutality resonated with Prokowiew, reminding him of his father's accounts. He began questioning his father about his past, particularly his experiences after the Nazi retreat and the fate of his mother. This led Prokowiew to spend his college's winter term interviewing his father, recording their conversations for approximately 50 hours.

His father revealed that after a year of hardship, he found work at a slaughterhouse run by a Nazi named Herr Kroutsick. Kroutsick provided him with food and lodging and taught him German. From ages 11 to 14, Prokowiew's father served as Kroutsick's courier, witnessing Kroutsick's cruelty firsthand. Kroutsick, who admired Hitler and kept his photos in his home, was violent towards other Belarusian workers and frequently whipped Prokowiew's father for minor transgressions, including stealing candy.

Understanding and Healing

Listening to these accounts, Prokowiew began to understand the source of his father's abusive behavior. He realized his father had learned to control his family through terror and violence from Kroutsick, his surrogate father figure. Despite the brutality he endured, his father never admitted to his own abusive actions towards his children. However, after weeks of Prokowiew asking "How did that feel?", his father finally broke down in tears, sobbing and asking if his son felt bad for him. Prokowiew responded with compassion, hugging his father and acknowledging his pain.

This process of understanding, documented in his memoir "War Boys: A Father and Son Memoir," did not erase the abuse Prokowiew experienced. Instead, it provided a way to make sense of his father's past and his own trauma, enabling him to focus on building a life free from the cycle of abuse. Prokowiew's father died three months after the recordings were completed in late 2001.