A woman who identifies as a sociopath and has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has detailed three dating tactics she claims can make men emotionally dependent. Kanika Batra, 30, described these methods in an interview on Chris Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast.
Batra stated that her approach involves understanding different personalities and tailoring her responses. She claims to be highly skilled at lying and manipulation, noting that she can mimic appropriate emotional responses without experiencing feelings herself. "I know what people are feeling. I just will never feel it," Batra said.
Three Manipulation Tactics
Batra outlined her three primary strategies for controlling relationships:
First, she employs a tactic she calls "love-bombing," which involves overwhelming a partner with excessive gifts, affection, and attention early in a relationship. This, she explained, creates intense attachment before a genuine bond has formed. Batra admitted that this method comes naturally to her and that she enjoys giving gifts and overwhelming partners with attention. Once the partner becomes hooked, she begins to withdraw the warmth and attention.
"And then they get hooked on it, and then they start getting really, really obsessive," Batra said. "They'll be like, 'Oh, okay. Why aren't you calling me more? Oh, are you seeing other people? You must be seeing other people.'"
Her second tactic involves creating distance and limiting access. She advised women to reduce their social media activity, avoid constant texting, and maintain an air of mystery. This strategy, she argued, prevents women from becoming overly dependent on external validation and keeps men uncertain of their availability. Batra also suggested using mildy insulting contact names for men in one's phone to diminish their emotional influence, offering "hepatitis B" as an example.
Batra's third strategy is to test a man's willingness to exert effort. Instead of making direct demands, she recommends asking them to complete small, slightly inconvenient tasks or travel a bit further to meet. "That's the purpose of tests," Batra explained. "So, you ask them to go slightly inconveniently out of their way to help you in some way."
She also suggested subtly reminding a reluctant man that he has competition by alluding to other options, but cautioned against making this tactic too obvious. The goal, she stated, is to gauge a man's actions and commitment rather than relying on his promises.
Understanding Personality Disorders
ASPD and NPD are both mental health conditions characterized by a lack of empathy and manipulative behavior, though they differ in their core motivations and actions. Individuals with ASPD are often described as deceitful, impulsive, and aggressive, while those with NPD tend to exhibit arrogance, entitlement, and an inflated sense of self-importance. These disorders are diagnosed by mental health professionals using criteria outlined in the DSM-5-TR.
Batra stated she was diagnosed with ASPD at age 21. While married, she said she does not need to maintain the same facade with her husband, whom she described as a calming influence. However, she acknowledged manipulating previous partners, sometimes by slowly reducing communication until the relationship ended.
When questioned by Williamson about whether her advice could introduce toxic dynamics into relationships, Batra conceded that some of her methods could be viewed as manipulative. "I think it is fair. Yeah," she responded. She added, however, that such ruthless behavior should cease once a secure relationship has been established, stating, "And it should definitely end when you're in a secure relationship."