Nine years into sobriety, the author experienced a strong urge to drink, a phenomenon she describes as 'drink noise.' This internal craving, specifically for a gin and tonic, emerged after receiving bad news.
While acknowledging the discourse around 'food noise' and its connection to appetite-suppressing drugs, the author notes that 'drink noise'—the persistent thoughts about alcohol and when the next drink can be had—is less discussed. She recounts how alcohol previously served as a coping mechanism for various life stressors, from personal relationships to work and parenting.
The anniversary of her last drink, August bank holiday 2017, often brings these memories to the forefront. The journey to sobriety involved significant withdrawal symptoms, including chronic insomnia and physical discomfort as her body detoxified. She also experienced changes in appetite, swapping alcohol for sugary foods like ice cream, and hormonal shifts that led to mood swings and severe menstrual cycles. These initial six months were challenging, but eventually, her health improved.
The memory of these withdrawal symptoms serves as a powerful deterrent against succumbing to current urges. The author emphasizes that resisting the temptation of the gin and tonic, in this instance, allowed her to maintain her sobriety and wake up with a clear head and conscience, marking her nine-year milestone.