Comedian Ruby Wax, 73, has revealed her unconventional approach to maintaining a strong 38-year marriage to film producer Ed Bye. Instead of traditional spousal proximity, Wax advocates for maintaining distance and fostering a 'commune-style' living arrangement.
Wax, who has been married to Bye since 1988 and shares three adult children, previously spent the first COVID-19 lockdown separately from her husband. She now asserts that this distance has strengthened their bond, advising other couples to "stay away as much as you can" from their spouses. "Don't see them and just train them to let you do whatever you want," she explained in an exclusive interview. "So we're not like a husband and wife, in that sense. My friends aren't his friends."
Despite not spending extensive time with Bye, Wax states their relationship works, noting they share a similar sense of humor and that he generally supports her endeavors. She finds that this arrangement keeps the marriage fresh and engaging.
Her home life is characterized by an open-door policy, with numerous friends often residing with the couple. "I have a lot of people living here," Wax said. "I like the commune effect. It's pretty good. We have a ballerina, a burlesque star, a dancer, a director… we have different people here. It's great. I've said 'come and stay here' and they just never left!"
Beyond her home life, Wax is actively involved in hosting day retreats for strangers, offering guided group sessions and Q&A opportunities. She is also a featured speaker at The Big Retreat Cambridgeshire, a festival focused on wellbeing, adventure, live music, and food. Wax, who holds a master's degree in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, plans to discuss her life, career, and advocacy for mental health.
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Wax has been open about her personal struggles with bipolar disorder and depression and is a vocal mental health advocate. She often speaks at festivals, sharing her experiences and promoting vulnerability. "If I open my mouth, they'll open their mouth. It's like if I strip off, they'll strip off. So I think by being really direct they get the idea that there's no shame in anything," she commented.
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Managing her mental health amidst a demanding career involves a combination of treatments, including Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (RTMS) and antidepressants. Wax admits to struggling at times but finds solace and confidence in front of an audience. "Sometimes I can't deal with it," she said. "So I have RTMS... and I'm on antidepressants. I do find it a struggle, but my happy place is in front of people. It's ironic, I don't like being alone at home, but put me in front of a thousand people, and I'm at home."
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The Big Retreat Cambridge is scheduled to take place at Abbot’s Ripton Estate from September 11-13. The festival offers a range of activities including yoga, Pilates, wild swimming, breathwork, meditation, creative workshops, and cooking demonstrations, alongside talks and live music. Tickets are available, with a discount code offered to Daily Mail readers.