Stag parties, often viewed as a final celebratory weekend for a groom-to-be, can sometimes lead to concerns about infidelity. Experts suggest that suspicion following such an event may indicate deeper issues within a relationship.
Gillian McCallum, a matchmaker with a degree in social anthropology, emphasizes that if a partner is actively seeking clues after a trip, the core problem likely lies in what is lacking within the relationship itself. She stated, "If you are hunting for clues after a trip, the core issue usually isn’t what happened on the stag do, it is what is missing in your relationship." McCallum added that if one is genuinely fearful of infidelity during a few days away with friends, the foundation for marriage may be unstable.
"A stag do does not invent dishonesty out of thin air, the reality is it holds a mirror up to the existing foundation, and if trust isn’t firmly established long before he packs his bag, no marriage will survive the road ahead," McCallum explained.
Open communication about plans before a trip is crucial for building trust. McCallum suggests that in a secure relationship, a stag weekend would not be a clandestine affair. A trustworthy partner would naturally involve their significant other in the pre-trip arrangements, such as casually asking for opinions on hotel options or mentioning the itinerary. "Natural inclusion is a hallmark of personal integrity," she noted.
For those experiencing suspicions, McCallum advises focusing on behavioral changes rather than attempting to act as a private investigator. Signs of untrustworthiness can include secretive phone habits, hushed conversations in private, or sudden defensiveness. However, she also cautioned against excessive suspicion, such as demanding to see booking details or credit card statements, as this can indicate a fundamental lack of trust that is itself a deal-breaker.
Sexologist and Relationship Psychotherapist Becky Crepsley-Fox advises paying attention to deviations from a partner's usual behavior. She suggests observing a fiancé's reaction when asked about the trip; excessive defensiveness or shutting down questions can be a sign of something being hidden. "A few things are worth noticing," Crepsley-Fox said.
"Firstly, watch their reaction when you ask about the trip - if they get overly defensive and shut down any question, it can be a sign they don’t want to get caught out," she explained. She also recommended listening for stories that seem inconsistent or create an uneasy feeling. Additionally, changes in demeanor upon return can be telling. "And also pay attention to how they are when they come back: if they seem despondent, withdrawn or unusually sad, it may be because they’ve done something that doesn’t sit right with their values," Crepsley-Fox stated. Conversely, some individuals may overcompensate with sudden attentiveness or gifts.
Examples of public figures, such as Brian McFadden, who was reportedly caught cheating during his stag do, highlight the potential for infidelity. McFadden was accused of cheating on his then-fiancée Kerry Katona with a lap dancer in 2002.
Psychologists suggest that if doubts about fidelity arise, it is important to assess the overall health and trust within the relationship. Crepsley-Fox also noted, "Others go the opposite way and overcompensate - becoming suddenly attentive, extra affectionate, or turning up with a gift or two."
