A clinical psychologist warned that severing ties with family members over political differences, a practice often promoted on social media as "self-care," can deepen loneliness and harm mental health.
Dr. Chloe Carmichael, author of Can I Say That? Why Free Speech Matters and How to Use It Fearlessly, told Fox News Digital that cutting off social support networks "is actually the worst thing you can do for your mental health," likening it to "eating Twinkies for health food." She said the trend is most visible among younger, progressive Americans who have been distancing themselves from relatives who supported former President Donald Trump.
Carmichael pointed to what she calls the "five Ds"—defriending on social media, putting distance in real life, dropping relationships, disinviting speakers and declining to date people with differing views—as behaviors that can shrink social networks and increase isolation. She tied that pattern to broader data showing declines in self-reported mental health. "We’re in an epidemic of loneliness and we know that loneliness is not good for mental health," she said.
She referenced research from Tufts University that, she said, finds liberals report worse mental health than conservatives, and cited Gallup polling that shows a long-term deterioration in Americans' self-assessed mental health. According to Gallup, the share of adults ages 18 to 29 who report "excellent" mental health has fallen substantially over the past decade, with young women reporting some of the steepest declines.
Carmichael said estrangement is appropriate in situations that involve name-calling, severe harassment or physical threats, but warned against using permanent removal from social circles as a default response to political disagreement. "What we need to learn how to do is how to be resilient and how to have relationships. Even if we disagree, we can have a diversity of opinions and our lives will be richer for it," she said.
As an alternative, she promoted what she called "listening resiliently," a practice that emphasizes asking questions and listening with curiosity rather than immediately rebutting a relative's views. "Sometimes it can be helpful to just practice, how many questions can I ask in a row before I feel the need to jump in with my own opinion?" she said. She also recommends role‑playing difficult conversations and enlisting support or reviewing institutional speech policies before entering contentious discussions at work or school.
Carmichael argued that open dialogue and free expression can strengthen relationships and act as a buffer against poor mental health by fostering more authentic communication. She said naming emotions can reduce activity in the amygdala, the brain region involved in fear responses, and help prevent the suppression or denial that undermines resilience.
Her comments come amid visible calls in some media and cultural circles for distancing from relatives who supported Trump during and after the 2024 election. In November, a Yale psychiatry resident appearing on a cable news program suggested that some people might consider limiting contact with Trump‑supporting loved ones at holiday gatherings. A separate July essay in New York Magazine argued that neutrality in relationships "doesn’t exist" and that cutting ties may sometimes be justified.
Carmichael said she fears that normalizing estrangement as the preferred response will worsen the very social isolation that contributes to poor mental health. "When we give people the tools to communicate effectively, that’s when we actually decrease problems like bullying and violence," she said, adding that open debate allows claims to be scrutinized and misinformation to be challenged.
Mental‑health professionals and sociologists have long noted the link between social connectedness and well‑being. Experts say that while boundaries and distance are necessary in abusive situations, preserving relationships through respectful conversation can help maintain social support networks at a time when younger adults report declining mental health. Carmichael urged people to weigh the long‑term costs of estrangement against short‑term relief, and to consider communication tools that preserve ties without condoning harmful behavior.
Her remarks highlight a growing debate in U.S. politics and culture over how families and communities should navigate deepening partisan divides: whether to prioritize moral clarity by excluding those with opposing views or to prioritize social cohesion by keeping channels of communication open. Carmichael said the choice has direct implications for individual and collective mental health and for the health of public discourse.