One-third of parents with estranged adult children believe that advice from therapists contributed to the breakdown in their family relationships, according to a recent survey. Experts are raising concerns about a rise in victimhood culture, where emphasizing fragility leads to severing familial ties.
The survey, which polled 7,000 estranged parents in April, found that approximately 33% believed their adult child's therapist recommended or influenced them to cut off contact with their family. William Doherty, a therapist and professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota, suggested that society's intense focus on "trauma" plays a significant role.
"We are in a culture where we emphasize fragility, everything becomes trauma, and the solution increasingly is to split and leave," Doherty told The Wall Street Journal. "But it should be the tragic exception that you cut off a parent or loved one, not business as usual in therapy."
Recent studies indicate a significant prevalence of family estrangement in the United States. More than 25% of young adults have been estranged from one or both parents, or currently are, according to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family. Karl Pillemer, a family sociologist and professor at Cornell, noted that generational tensions over political and social issues could further exacerbate these rifts.
Mental health professionals are debating the rise in estrangement. Some express worry that young adults without familial support networks may be more vulnerable to remaining in unhealthy relationships. Peter Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist involved in the April survey, indicated that therapists might not always receive a complete picture of a situation when advising clients to sever ties with parents. "A lot of therapists are taught to believe whatever the client is saying at face value," Anderson told the WSJ. "They're forming conclusions based on one person's account."
Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at Ohio State University, suggested that a cultural shift towards prioritizing positive relationships over mending strained ones makes cutting off parents a more appealing option for some adults. However, the study also found that estrangement is often temporary, with many individuals eventually resuming communication with their parents, sometimes encouraging them to seek therapy as well.
"Despite moderate estrangement events, estrangement appears to be a relatively unstable family dynamic, with most people ending estrangement in subsequent waves," the study concluded. It also cautioned that even short-term estrangement can have lasting impacts on an individual's well-being.