New Agency Declares Who is a Real New Yorker, Revokes Trump's Status

The enduring debate over who qualifies as a true New Yorker has a new arbiter: the Department of New Yorker Verification (DNYV). This recently launched agency, an art project by Queens-born artist Franz Aliquo, has already made its most prominent decision by revoking the New Yorker status of former President Donald Trump.

Aliquo, who also created the 2004 game 'Street Wars,' stated that Trump's constant criticism of New York City and its diversity rendered him unfit for the coveted title. "He has constantly talked s–t about the city, denigrated both the diversity of religion and nationality of the city, he’s treated the diversity in the city as a problem and has constantly called it a trash hole," Aliquo explained in his capacity as the inaugural Verifier General of the DNYV.

Launched last week, the DNYV's mission is stated as: "Residence is an address. The title is earned." The agency issues certificates to verified New Yorkers. Aliquo initiated the project after realizing he was "being a little gatekeeper" and acknowledging the subjective nature of defining a New Yorker, despite the city's unique influence on its residents.

The verification process has two tracks. Track 1, "Verification by Origin," requires applicants to submit their address, birth certificate or high school diploma, and answer questions about their experiences in the city, such as identifying the "best pizza" and "worst subway station." This track is designed to assess if an applicant was "born into and molded by the Big Apple."

Track 2, "Verification by Experience," opened Monday and is aimed at "transplants." This track features a lengthy questionnaire that awards "suffering points" for experiences unique to New Yorkers, such as crying in public, jumping turnstiles, finding rats in an apartment, or taping up windows during a blizzard.

While the DNYV primarily grants certifications, it reserves the right to revoke the title for violating a code of conduct that emphasizes respect for New York City and its inhabitants. Trump was the first to have his status revoked.

Aliquo also cryptically mentioned that Jennifer Lopez might be "on thin ice" despite her famous association with the song "Jenny from the Block." However, Mayor Zohran Mamdani has "100%" earned his New Yorker status, according to Aliquo, despite not being born in the United States. Aliquo cited Mamdani's "attitude and his story" as qualifying him.

The DNYV's website provides more information on its verification process. The project aims to humorously address the long-standing, often passionate, discussions about what truly defines someone as a New Yorker.