Friendships can wither and end due to jealousy, a strong and often destructive emotion, according to personal accounts. The experience of losing friends to envy is described as a recurring and painful phenomenon, highlighting the impact of unspoken resentment.
One account details a friendship ending in adolescence when a peer expressed jealousy over perceived possessions and social standing. The author recounts a similar experience years later, where a friend confessed to feeling envious because the author was perceived as being unafraid to be oneself and speak one's mind. Despite the friend's admiration, the underlying jealousy soured their connection, leading to the friendship's demise.
Jealousy can manifest not only as direct confession but also as passive-aggressive behavior. The author notes that some individuals who exhibit jealousy may become silent, a behavior described as 'ghosting.' This tactic can leave the other person feeling insecure and is seen as a way for the jealous individual to undermine those they envy.
An example is given of a seemingly close relationship with a housekeeper that deteriorated. The housekeeper's attitude shifted, and she reportedly began to speak negatively about the author to another staff member. This behavior became apparent when the author was pregnant and the housekeeper, who reportedly desired a third child, began to sow discord.
Reflecting on these experiences, the author shares wisdom from their 14-year-old daughter: "if you’re not going anywhere, people won’t bother you, but if you are flying, some people will hate you for it, and you have to discard those people for your own wellbeing." This sentiment underscores the idea that those who are successful or perceived as having 'everything' may become targets of envy.
Oprah Winfrey is cited as stating that even a small amount of jealousy can prevent a friendship from thriving, a sentiment the author agrees with based on personal experience. While some attribute the prevalence of jealousy among women to internalized misogyny, the author speculates it might be rooted in something more innate, potentially with evolutionary underpinnings.
The advice offered is to recognize the signs of jealousy and, when it becomes destructive, to let such friendships go. The author suggests not to pursue or engage with those who exhibit persistent envy, as true friends will support and celebrate one's successes.