Kyra Anzely, a mother who worked full-time, pursued higher education, and maintained a gym routine, reveals how she hid a severe cocaine addiction from her social and professional circles. Anzely described her use of cocaine and alcohol as a weekend ritual, costing approximately $1,000 weekly at its peak.
Anzely first used cannabis at 14 and later methamphetamine, experiences tied to a childhood marked by instability, neglect, and family conflict. After abstaining during a pregnancy and early motherhood, she relapsed following a separation and later entered an abusive relationship. She eventually distanced herself from methamphetamine and began rebuilding her life, pursuing a career in child protection and earning a degree.
However, by her late twenties, Anzely found herself using cocaine socially on weekends. She noted that cocaine felt less shameful than methamphetamine, associating it with a “prettier lifestyle” involving cocktails and social gatherings. She stated that cocaine also helped her maintain a desired social image, increased her confidence, and aided in managing an eating disorder by suppressing appetite.
"If you think you don't have a problem because you're still functioning, I would say look at what it is giving you," Anzely said. "What are you needing it for? Is it confidence? Connection? To feel enough?"
The facade began to crumble during a weekend trip where, due to humidity causing the cocaine to clump, Anzely unknowingly consumed a larger dose than intended. This led to a severe panic attack, characterized by a pounding heart and difficulty breathing, which she believed was a heart attack. This incident served as a turning point, prompting her to re-evaluate her relationship with cocaine.
Following the near-fatal experience, Anzely ended her relationship and continued to use cocaine for a short period to cope with the emotional pain. She eventually sought recovery through therapy, including EMDR and somatic therapy, focusing on addressing underlying trauma, self-worth, and body image issues. Anzely now works as a psychotherapist, helping others overcome addiction and trauma by addressing the root causes of their struggles.
She advocates for questioning the idea that one is not struggling with addiction simply because they are still functioning in their daily responsibilities. Anzely believes cocaine has become dangerously normalized, often framed within the context of social enjoyment and confidence, which can mask its serious addictive potential, particularly for women whose struggles may be hidden behind outward success.