Military widows are advocating for the repeal of a long-standing rule that requires them to wait until age 55 to remarry without losing crucial financial benefits earned by their deceased spouses. The current regulation means that surviving spouses who remarry before this age risk forfeiting Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), which averages around $1,600 per month, along with potential loss of VA home loan benefits and their Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP).
Melissa Wilson, a widow at 35, faced this dilemma when she and her partner decided to adopt their foster daughter. To legally adopt, they needed to be married, forcing Wilson to choose between her benefits and her family. "I never planned to get married again ever," Wilson stated, describing the difficulty of the decision, which meant forfeiting benefits tied to her late husband's service.
Wilson has joined forces with the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) and other military widows to support the Love Lives On Act. This proposed legislation seeks to eliminate the age requirement for remarriage, allowing surviving spouses to move forward with their lives and new relationships without financial penalty.
Anita Sullivan, whose husband, U.S. Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Michael Sullivan, died in 2019, is also a vocal advocate. Her 11-year-old daughter, Sophia, has spoken with legislators about the impact of the rule. Sullivan explained that her daughter perceives the law as the government forcing a choice between happiness and financial security. "Her perspective is one of a child who sees it so simply and clearly that there's just unfairness there and that there's no reason besides an arbitrary number," Sullivan said.
Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, Director of Government and Legislation at TAPS, argues that the laws are outdated, stemming from a time with different societal norms regarding women's financial independence and marital options. "It was a very different time and that a surviving spouse in the 50s and 60s primarily either moved back home with their family or they remarried right away because that's those were the options," Haycock-Lohmann noted. "The world is a very different place than it is now."
Sullivan, who was 42 when she lost her husband and became a single mother to their three children, relies on the $1,650 monthly DIC benefit. She emphasized that military service members are assured their families will be taken care of. "They have been told when they sign up, they've been told throughout their military careers that if something happens to them, their families will be taken care of. And there's never a conversation in that that says unless they remarry."
The Love Lives On Act was introduced in early June as part of the broader Take Care of America’s Veterans Act, a legislative package aimed at enhancing veterans' financial security and healthcare. Both military widows and advocates like Haycock-Lohmann express optimism that the bill will gain bipartisan support and pass, allowing families to celebrate future milestones without the shadow of financial repercussions.
