Former England footballer Michael Owen has revealed he does not verbally express his love to his children, a statement that has prompted wider conversations about fatherhood, societal expectations of men, and the significance of emotional communication within families.
Owen, speaking on a podcast, explained that while he believes his love for his children is evident, he struggles with saying the words "I love you," describing such expressions as being "soft." He noted a potential shift in his own behavior, stating, "I'm definitely getting softer, but still not soft enough to say anything like that."
This sentiment touches upon long-standing cultural and generational attitudes many fathers hold regarding parenting. Experts suggest that such beliefs are often shaped by a confluence of factors including culture, social class, gender roles, and generational divides. Aaron Dale, a commentator cited in the discussion, highlighted the potential harm in the notion that certain behaviors are not masculine enough, stating, "the belief of what men should and what men shouldn't do."
Dale further elaborated that many fathers internalize a role primarily focused on providing for their families. However, he emphasized that fathers can offer more than financial support, advocating for their emotional presence and willingness to engage in open communication. "Men are much more than just providers... what about our emotional capacity and willingness to have conversations and be there as fathers? And maybe we can't provide, but you know what? Our presence is at full capacity," Dale remarked.
The way individuals parent is often influenced by their own upbringing, including the extent to which they were shown affection as children. Owen's comments were made in the context of promoting a new show, "Meet the Owens," which offers glimpses into his family life. He has previously spoken publicly about his children, including a moving account in 2024 about his son James's sight loss.