A collection of personal accounts from five men in the United Kingdom details a wide spectrum of sexual experiences, with partner counts ranging from none to over 100. These narratives offer a glimpse into varying attitudes towards sex, relationships, and fidelity.
Ashley Marcos, a 41-year-old printer, describes a past with over 100 sexual partners, a number he has lost count of since his 30s. He attributes his early experiences to his appearance and opportunities presented while working in the nightlife and holiday rep industry in his early adulthood. Marcos noted that while his current partner, Claire, expresses some jealousy about his past, he believes cultural norms are more forgiving of men's sexual histories than women's. He stated, "Would it bother me if she had slept with more than 100 men? Yes, it would. In our culture, it is seen as fine for men but not so much for women." Marcos has since settled down, having children with his partner and no longer engaging in casual sex.
Richard Aldred, a 56-year-old gym instructor, reports having had 40 sexual partners over three decades. He described his past as a period of high sex drive and indulgence, including juggling multiple partners and cheating on a dozen of them. Aldred's early sexual experiences began at 17, and he recounts periods of playing the field, sometimes using a stutter as a perceived deterrent to women assuming he was not promiscuous. He has had six serious relationships and three engagements before marrying his current wife three months ago. His wife is aware of his past conquests.
In contrast, Kunal Gandhi, a 38-year-old vice-president, has had only one sexual partner: his wife, Shivani. The couple married in November 2016 after being together for ten years, during which they abstained from sex. Their long-distance relationship, with Gandhi working internationally, contributed to the delay. Both adhered to cultural values that discouraged premarital sex. Gandhi expressed contentment with his choice, stating, "I have no regrets that Shivani is my only sexual partner."
Henry Ansell, a 24-year-old actor, remains a virgin due to fear of rejection and self-doubt. He has experienced unrequited feelings and situations where intimacy did not progress to sex. Ansell expressed concern about never having sex but remains hopeful, noting he recently went on a date.
Shawn Almeida, a 25-year-old receptionist, has had 32 sexual partners. He was most promiscuous between the ages of 19 and 22, actively using dating apps. Almeida, who describes himself as more of a "funny boy" than handsome, focused on his physical fitness to attract women. He reflected on past relationships where he acknowledges breaking hearts and instances of intimacy with married women. Almeida is currently single and hopes to settle down before turning 30.
Britain's biggest survey of sexual attitudes indicates the average man reports 14 sexual partners. The five men featured in these accounts collectively represent a wide range of sexual histories, from zero to over 100 partners.