The landscape of dating has evolved significantly, with many clients seeking a more personal approach than offered by superficial swipe culture, according to a professional matchmaker with 26 years of experience.
Lorraine Adams, group CEO of Gorgeous Networks, notes that while dating apps have changed the initial approach to finding a partner, the role of professional matchmaking remains relevant. Her clients, ranging from their late twenties to their eighties, often come from professional backgrounds and seek guidance due to lengthy relationships ending or the general evolution of the dating scene.
"Nowadays, if you’re looking to meet that special someone then it’s accepted that dating apps are the first port of call," Adams stated. "But the role of the professional matchmaker is far from dead. Singletons are feeling increasingly jaded about the superficiality of ‘swipe’ culture and want to get back to a more personal experience."
Adams shared that while many clients are delightful, some present "appalling behaviour and outrageous requests." She observed that modern dating apps have fostered habits of constant swiping until a superficial ideal is met, leading clients to forget the importance of looking deeper.
Common requests from male clients often include preferences for a partner who is a size 10 or below. Women, conversely, predominantly seek taller partners. A key shift noted by Adams is women's increasing emphasis on a partner's emotional intelligence, maturity, and respect for independence.
"A lot of men will also tell us they would only date someone a size 10 or below. As for women, most want their partner to be tall," Adams said. "Yet one of the key things women now look for is men with emotional intelligence. They want someone mature and on the same page as them, but who will respect their independence."
Some client demands are considered unreasonable. Adams recounted a case where a male client in his late 50s requested women 20 years his junior but did not want more children. When informed that women in that age bracket might find him too old and many in their 30s seek to start families, he demanded a refund, which was denied.
Another instance involved a 63-year-old male client who, despite having undergone cosmetic procedures, complained about a woman who used Botox, stating he preferred "natural" women. Adams pointed out the double standard in such situations.
Women clients have also presented challenges. One client in her 70s requested dates with men who had full heads of hair, a difficult criterion given her age range. After three dates, she demanded a refund because her date's gardening passion didn't align with her specific preference for growing fruits and vegetables over his interest in flowers.
Adams also mentioned requests for partners in specific professions, such as a woman in her 50s seeking a successful artist. Despite finding a suitable non-artist partner who proved to be a perfect match, the client had initially insisted on a very specific professional requirement.
"It goes to show that in reality, most of us end up falling for someone completely unexpected," Adams noted. "I get it; expectations are high when you’ve spent money. Our memberships cost between £1,000 and £3,000 for six months, paid upfront. For that, we send three hand-picked matches per month."
Adams emphasized that trivial issues are addressed with gentle feedback, but some clients have had their memberships terminated due to persistent issues. These include men reported for being overly handsy or misogynistic. While no clients have been reported to the police, matchmakers share information about particularly unsavoury individuals to warn others.
Adams shared an anecdote from another matchmaker whose client's date was involved in a traffic accident and hospitalized. The client, however, was primarily outraged by the police intrusion after the man had called her prior to the accident. This led to the exasperated sentiment, "Don’t shoot the matchmaker!"