An experienced hostess's former assistant has outlined crucial etiquette for house guests, emphasizing that even the most glamorous hosts observe and judge every aspect of a visitor's behavior. These guidelines, born from observing countless guests at a grand villa on the Cote d’Azur, aim to ensure guests are invited back rather than ostracized.
One of the most significant rules is to never arrive empty-handed. Despite any assurances from the host that nothing is needed, bringing a thoughtful gift is paramount. A case of wine from a local vineyard or specialized glossy magazines, such as those on art auctions from Sotheby's or Bonhams, are recommended. Conversely, a scented candle is considered a cheap and uninspired offering.
Upon arrival, guests are advised to avoid immediate requests for the Wi-Fi code. This, along with excessive selfie-taking or presenting hosts with shopping lists, marks a guest as particularly annoying. Similarly, dietary restrictions should be communicated well in advance of arrival, as specific ingredients may be difficult to source in less urban locations. Diners are also cautioned against discussing restrictive diets or weight loss, especially when others are indulging.
Morning etiquette is also emphasized. Guests should dress appropriately for breakfast and avoid wearing sleepwear, regardless of its expense. A kaftan is suggested as a suitable option, aligning with the host's likely casual yet refined expectations. Requests for specific or unusual breakfast items, particularly when the host provides a comprehensive buffet, are also frowned upon.
During the day, it is essential for guests to leave the property at some point to allow both themselves and the hosts personal space. Making one's bed before departing the room is a courtesy that is often appreciated. Bringing back a small item for the household, such as local produce or a dessert, is also a thoughtful gesture.
Sunscreen application before heading to the pool is considered good form, with intimate application being a private matter. For meals, especially dinner, dressing up is expected, and guests should adhere to the hostess's seating arrangements. When offering to help, the KISS (keep it simple, stupid) principle applies, suggesting a signature, easy-to-make cocktail.
Conversational skills are vital, with hosts often categorizing guests as either positive 'radiators' or negative 'drains.' Avoiding complaints about personal issues or dominating conversations with negative topics is key. Discussing the royals can spark debate, but taking extreme stances may lead to social isolation. While some colorful language and political or risqué jokes are acceptable, it is advisable to gauge the mood first.
The ideal length of stay is generally considered to be no more than three days or a long weekend. Guests should never ask to extend their invitation. Generous tipping of any staff in the local currency is expected, as this is often monitored by the host. Before departing, signing the visitor's book with a witty and complimentary remark is customary. Upon returning home, a handwritten thank-you note is the most appropriate form of gratitude, as emails or texts are considered insufficient.