Chris Arnone, a happily married man in his late 30s, discovered in 2018 that his identity was built on a misunderstanding of his own biology. A casual internet search led him to information that identified him as intersex, a term for individuals with biological traits that do not fit typical definitions of male or female.
Born in 1980, Arnone's parents were told by doctors that their child had ambiguous genitalia. The medical team observed two empty sacs and an underdeveloped penis, along with a urethral opening positioned underneath rather than at the tip, a condition known as hypospadias. Chromosome tests revealed an XY makeup, and Arnone was named Christopher and raised as a boy. His parents were advised that he had birth defects requiring surgical correction.
Arnone underwent a series of surgeries throughout his childhood to align his physical characteristics with a male identity. These procedures included opening his urethra to enable urination and constructing a penis using skin grafts from his bladder, while his testicles were brought down from inside his body. His parents maintained an open dialogue about his medical journey, aiming to prevent shame. Arnone later reflected that he was fortunate, as many intersex individuals do not receive such open communication about their biology.
Despite being raised as a typical boy, Arnone experienced a sense of difference as he entered adolescence. His body did not develop in the same way as his peers, with a curved penis and a lack of the pubertal changes related to ejaculation. Even when hospitalized for a testicular infection as a teenager, medical professionals focused on treating the ailment rather than exploring the underlying issues related to his gender assignment and early medical interventions.
As an adult, Arnone, now 45, describes the challenges of living with genital variations and the societal shame often associated with them. He navigated relationships by forming emotional connections before disclosing his medical history, which he framed as having 'birth defects.' He married Christina in 2014 and became involved in creative circles, even participating in Pride parades, while still identifying as a straight man.
The internet search for hypospadias proved to be a turning point. Arnone discovered that his condition, combined with other factors, was recognized as an intersex variation. This realization helped him understand aspects of his life that had previously felt incomplete and solidified a sense of purpose: raising awareness and destigmatizing intersex variations.
Arnone's experience has led him to question medical practices that have historically treated intersex variations as conditions to be 'fixed.' He notes that approximately 1.7% of the population is born with intersex characteristics, a figure comparable to those with red hair, yet research into the phenomenon remains limited. He also expressed concern over gender-affirming surgeries performed on infants and young children when not medically essential, advocating for the child's involvement in such decisions as they mature.
While Arnone is infertile and had his testicles removed in adulthood due to ongoing issues, he cannot definitively attribute these problems to the childhood surgeries. He embraces his identity as a pansexual intersex man in a happy marriage, choosing to focus on his present well-being and meaningful work rather than dwelling on past uncertainties.
His journey contrasts with the U.S. government's policy, stated in an executive order, recognizing only two sexes, male and female, a stance Arnone argues disregards the existence of intersex individuals. He suggests that if a medical intervention is necessary for a baby's health, it should be performed, but other procedures should be deferred until the child can participate in the decision-making process.