Pascal Rubinat, once the self-described "alpha male" and protector in his marriage, now relies on his wife, Samantha, for care as a series of severe illnesses have drastically altered his life. The couple, who married in 2008 when Pascal was 46 and Samantha was 36, has experienced a significant role reversal over the past five years.
In 2020, Rubinat's health began a steep decline, marked by a difficult knee replacement in 2021 that led to collapse and unconsciousness. This was followed by other serious conditions including type 2 diabetes, heart failure, edema, and nerve damage. Multiple surgeries for osteoarthritis in his hips and knee resulted in further complications, and by 2023, he was experiencing organ failure, leading to numerous hospitalizations.
Samantha has become his primary caregiver, managing his extensive daily medication regimen, assisting with mobility, and providing physical comfort. Rubinat notes the visible toll this has taken on his wife, observing her tiredness and the strain of not knowing when his health might worsen.
Before his illness, Rubinat was the active partner, undertaking extensive renovations on their farmhouse in the Dordogne, France, purchased in 2012. He managed physical tasks, from structural repairs to electrical and plumbing work, while Samantha focused on her career. This dynamic has shifted, and Rubinat now often requires assistance for basic activities, such as securing a wheelchair at the hospital.
Rubinat acknowledges the significant psychological impact of his illness, which has affected his confidence, pride, and sense of self. He has struggled to accept his condition and the new marital dynamic, admitting to becoming more impatient and demanding. Despite these challenges, he emphasizes his profound gratitude for Samantha's unwavering support, stating he would not be alive without her.
Samantha has become formidable in managing his complex medical needs, securing appointments, and navigating administrative hurdles, such as obtaining a French disability card. She has also taken over most of the physical labor on their property, including preparing firewood for their wood-burning stove, a task Rubinat previously handled.
Her career has also been impacted, requiring her to forgo travel and certain professional opportunities. The couple has also endured personal heartbreak, losing all seven of their dogs over a three-year period, with Samantha managing these difficult vet visits alone due to Rubinat's poor health.
Rubinat, who is now 65 and has a life expectancy of five years, is focused on completing remaining home projects and ensuring Samantha will have support after he is gone. He expresses pride in Samantha's strength and resilience in holding their life together during his illness and makes an effort to care for her in return, such as arranging for her niece to visit to provide her with a break.
Despite the hardships, the couple maintains moments of joy, starting mornings with music and ending evenings together with their two new rescue dogs. Rubinat expresses deep admiration for his wife's fortitude, acknowledging his dependence on her and recognizing that she now provides the stability he once offered her. "I once kept our roof over Sam’s head. Now she keeps the ground steady beneath my feet," he stated.