Married At First Sight alumna Julia Vogl has transformed a challenging experience on the reality television show into a new business. Vogl has launched "Mindgasm: The Deeper Dating Game," a card game intended to foster deeper connections between couples by moving beyond superficial conversation.
The concept for the game originated during the show's "Intimacy Week" when Vogl was criticized by viewers and her on-screen husband, Grayson, for using a list of questions to build emotional intimacy. She explained that her intention was to cultivate a genuine bond through meaningful conversation, a practice she believes is crucial for developing attraction and strong relationships.
"I genuinely believe good questions create really good relationships, and that's how I cultivate attraction to someone," Vogl stated. "It was received really badly. People online laughed. My partner didn't like it."
This reaction prompted Vogl to reflect on why a desire for deep connection was perceived negatively. "It just made me think afterwards, 'Why is wanting to get to know someone deeply considered weird? What is that about?' It was that experience that planted the seed for Mindgasm," she said.
Vogl described the game as a response to modern dating culture, which she feels emphasizes superficiality. "We live in a culture of fast swipes, quick hookups and fleeting connections. Everything feels superficial and transient," she noted. "When I was on Married At First Sight, I experienced this first-hand. I wanted to feel connected to my partner and build emotional intimacy first before we jumped headfirst into bed. People laughed at me and thought I was weird."
"Mindgasm is fun, playful, spicy and vulnerable," Vogl said about her creation. "It's an invitation to ask better questions and to lead with curiosity."
The game is structured in three levels: "The Spark," which focuses on lighthearted conversation and curiosity; "Get Real," which delves into personal values and experiences; and "The Deep End," designed to encourage vulnerability.
Vogl believes that while many people are skilled at making polished first impressions, they struggle with forming authentic connections. She noted, "We're taught how to flirt, we're taught how to text and we're taught how to curate ourselves online, but no one actually teaches us how to build emotional intimacy properly."
She feels the game provides a framework for couples to ask questions they might otherwise find awkward, giving them "permission to be vulnerable without feeling awkward" and to "put our phones down, be really present and actually be fascinated by another human being."
Reflecting on her time on the show, Vogl expressed regret that she didn't have the game available. "I can't tell you how much I wish I had this in my back pocket when I was on the show. If I did, I feel like maybe I could have broken through a little bit more with Grayson," she said.
Vogl acknowledged that filming the show was an isolating and emotionally demanding experience, especially when questioning a partner's sincerity. The public scrutiny that followed also presented a challenge, but she chose to learn from it rather than be defined by it.
She has since found a new, happy relationship and noted that her game can be used by people in established relationships as well. "People in long-term relationships can still play it," she said.
Vogl views Mindgasm as a way to reclaim a difficult period of her life and transform negative experiences into something positive. "It feels really good to take a pretty crazy part of my life and alchemise it into this little game," she stated.
She also aims to challenge societal pressure that encourages rushing into sexual intimacy before establishing an emotional connection. "Getting turned on by the way someone thinks, the way they make you feel and the way they communicate - I'm all about that," Vogl said. "Really knowing yourself and getting to know someone before you start being physical with them is a completely normal and valid way of getting to know someone."
The name "Mindgasm" itself comes from a comment Vogl made on the show when asked how she wanted to feel with Grayson. "I said, 'I just want to have a mindgasm,'" she recalled, adding that the negative reaction confirmed her partner was not the right fit.
Mindgasm: The Deeper Dating Game is now officially available.