Katherine Ryan Discusses Husband's Male Postpartum Depression

Comedian Katherine Ryan has openly discussed her husband Bobby Koostra's experience with male postpartum depression following the birth of their son, Fred. Ryan, 43, explained on the "Weirdo's Book Club" podcast that both she and Koostra initially found it difficult to understand what he was going through, as he was unable to articulate his feelings at the time.

Ryan suggested that Koostra's challenging childhood, including the early death of his father, may have contributed to his emotional difficulties as a new parent. She drew a parallel to Prince Harry's descriptions of emotional voids stemming from childhood trauma, noting that Koostra has little memory of his own upbringing. "Bobby has the same thing," she stated.

The couple's relationship progressed rapidly, and after experiencing miscarriages, they welcomed their son Fred, whose name was chosen to honor Koostra's late father. Ryan reflected on their decision for Koostra to become a stay-at-home father, explaining her desire to respect his wishes and avoid assuming the primary caregiver role.

"He also had to look after Fred quite a bit, because I believed him about wanting to be a stay at home dad," Ryan said. "I was trying not to be a first-born daughter in this scenario when he said he wanted to be a stay-at-home dad."

Ryan returned to filming and touring after lockdown limited her work opportunities, but acknowledged that caring for a newborn presented different challenges than looking after older children. "I think he's a great stay-at-home dad now that they're old enough to speak. But to give him a newborn, and I was still breastfeeding…"

She admitted that at the time, she and Koostra were unaware that men could also experience postpartum depression. "Bobby was not really able to articulate what he was going through at the time. This was five years ago, but we didn't really know about male postpartum depression. He was just on edge," she recalled.

Looking back, Ryan described Koostra as being consumed by worry, struggling with sleep, and spending long periods observing their baby. "He was thinking about it all the time, he couldn't sleep, he would just watch Fred sleep," she said.

While postpartum depression is often associated with mothers, it is also recognized that fathers can experience depression and anxiety during the perinatal period. Ryan also expressed feelings of guilt related to her own decisions as a working mother, influenced by internalized misogyny. She questioned whether she should have stayed home more, despite having breastfed their son for 10 months. "That's a difficult feminist admission because I do internalise misogyny and I think, 'Oh, I shouldn't have gone straight back to work.' I shouldn't have left a man alone with a newborn," she stated, reflecting on her ingrained tendency to take on responsibility.