Leaving a marriage of 20 years and moving out of a family home presented numerous difficult moments for author Kat Farmer, but she recounts an unexpected challenge that nearly proved insurmountable: a missed John Lewis delivery.

Farmer described her first day in a rented flat with only a mattress for a bed, leading her to question the fairness of her situation and feel a profound sense of loneliness. "I burst into tears, saying to myself, 'This is just not fair. I'm 50 years old and I don't even have a bed – it wasn't meant to be like this,'" she wrote.

She noted that while the significant decisions surrounding divorce, such as informing children and maintaining amicability, are widely discussed, the trivial practicalities often go unaddressed. For Farmer, a seemingly mundane issue like coordinating furniture delivery while working two hours away became a significant hurdle.

"People talk about all the Big Decisions around divorce – what to say to your children, how to keep it as amicable as possible. No one tells you that a trivial practicality like making sure you have furniture – and being in for the delivery while also working on a job two hours away – can be the thing that trips you up," she explained.

Farmer emphasized the importance of preparation for anyone considering leaving a marriage. "My advice to anyone who might be thinking of leaving is this: get your ducks in a row beforehand. Envisage every eventuality and then work out how you would deal with it," she advised.

She also shared the emotional toll of rediscovering independence, including the unexpected grief that can arise even when a separation is desired. A moment of reflection over a teapot, an item her ex-husband would have disliked but she cherished, brought on a wave of sadness for the marriage she wished she had. "The end of a marriage – even if you know to your very core that you'll be so much happier apart – does feel like a sort of grief. It's mourning the life that you thought you could have had; the marriage that you wanted but never really got," she stated.

Dealing with practical issues, such as encountering a mouse in her new flat, was also daunting. Farmer recounted sitting on her kitchen counter for three hours, eventually naming the mouse