Columnist Jana Hocking has shared instances of receiving unsolicited and inappropriate direct messages (DMs) on Instagram from married men, including prominent politicians, athletes, and A-list celebrities. Hocking detailed these encounters in a recent article, expressing bewilderment at the behavior of individuals who, she suggests, lose common sense when engaging online.
One anecdote describes a man who commented on Hocking's appearance, sending fire emojis. When Hocking noted that his profile picture featured his wife and granddaughters, the man reportedly claimed his wife viewed the message as a compliment. Hocking questioned this assertion, suggesting it was unlikely a wife would approve of such messages.
Another message detailed was a crude sexual proposition from an international cricketer, which led to him being reported to his club. Hocking also recounted receiving messages from a high-profile married politician, identified through a simple online search.
Hocking observed that this behavior seems common, likening the influx of messages from married men to a "David Attenborough documentary." She characterized these individuals as often using generic greetings like 'Sexy,' 'Hey beautiful,' or 'Yo,' and frequently displaying their families in their profile pictures.
The columnist contrasted this online behavior with real-world social norms, suggesting that similar opening lines in a public setting like a wine bar would likely result in immediate social rejection. She noted that while these DMs can be problematic, a thoughtful direct message can also serve as an effective way to initiate contact and potentially lead to positive interactions. Hocking shared examples of positive DMs, including one that led to a three-day correspondence discussing an article and another initiated by an interesting profile that resulted in weekend visits.
She argued that Instagram offers a form of pre-screening, allowing users to observe a person's social circle, interests, and sense of humor before direct interaction. The ability to Google a person's full name, which Hocking considers a non-negotiable step, further aids in this vetting process.
However, Hocking concluded by urging users to apply the same social etiquette online as they would in person. She advised that opening lines that would be considered unacceptable in real life are likely to be equally unwelcome on social media platforms. The article implicitly suggests that public figures, like all individuals, should exercise discretion and respect when engaging in online communication.