Actress Hayden Panettiere, who died on Sunday at age 36, had a deeply fractured relationship with her mother, Lesley Vogel, according to accounts shared by Panettiere in her recently published memoir. The strained dynamic between mother and daughter was described as "worse than anyone knows" by a source close to the actress just months before Panettiere's death.
Panettiere's memoir, "This Is Me: A Reckoning," details her struggles with alcoholism, postnatal depression, and familial trauma. It also touches upon her decision to give custody of her daughter, Kaya, to her ex-fiancé, Ukrainian boxer Wladimir Klitschko. In May, shortly before the book's release, Panettiere's mother issued a scathing statement about their estrangement.
"After 20 years of trauma, I took the advice of professionals and chose the no-contact route," Vogel stated at the time. "As many parents of entertainment children [know], we are all too familiar with the painful observation of watching the self-destructive paths they sometimes choose. Sadly, this is out of our control. You cannot save someone who does not want to be saved."
Panettiere, who began her career as a child actress, alleged that her mother's management of her career contributed to her personal demons. She claimed that her mother, a former soap opera actress herself, groomed her to be a "little soldier" in the performing world. Panettiere stated that her mother told her from a young age that her earnings were crucial for supporting the family, with household expenses and even an apartment for the family being funded by her salary as a child star.
"I was working hard, making money, and this money was going towards things that I wasn't privy to," Panettiere said in a recent podcast interview. She recounted that by age 16, her earnings from films and lucrative contracts were used to purchase a home for the family. In a 2011 interview, Panettiere admitted she had "not the slightest clue as to how much I was paid." She felt her mother was more of a "boss" than a parent, leading to a role reversal where she often felt like the provider rather than a child needing support.
Panettiere ended her professional relationship with her mother at age 19, asking her to simply be her mom. She recalled her mother's response as "You owe me," which she found deeply disappointing, realizing the relationship was driven by finances. She moved out of the family home at 18, describing it as a decision made for "survival."
Adding to the family's grief, Panettiere's younger brother, Jansen Panettiere, died in 2023 at the age of 28 from a heart condition. The actress's father, Alan "Skip" Panettiere, with whom she reportedly had a good relationship, confirmed her death on Sunday. Her mother, Lesley Vogel, had separated from Skip Panettiere in 2008 and filed for divorce in 2012.