Hannah Murray, known for her role as Gilly in "Game of Thrones," has detailed a harrowing experience in her new memoir, "The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness." Murray recounts a period in 2017 when she joined what she described as a wellness cult, which led to a psychotic break and a 28-day stay in a psychiatric hospital. She stated that during this time, she was so immersed in the cult's beliefs that she mistook the psychiatric institution for a palace.
Murray's journey into the cult began after the demanding filming of her 2017 movie "Detroit," which explored dark themes. Seeking solace, she met an "energy healer" she referred to as Grace, who introduced her to the organization. This led to further classes and eventually an encounter with the cult's leader, whom Murray identified as "Steve."
She described Steve as exuding a powerful, almost magical aura, leading her to believe he was divine. Murray's intense hallucinations, which occurred during a five-day retreat with other members in London, culminated in a psychotic break. While hospitalized, she experienced profound disorientation, interpreting her surroundings and the medical staff through the lens of the cult's teachings. At one point, she believed she was a "Ritual Master" and drank her own urine as part of a ritual, convinced it was a potent potion for survival.
Emerging from the Cult's Influence
After several days in the hospital and visits from her family and friends, Murray began to question the cult leader's intentions and the reality of her situation. The return of her phone provided a crucial connection to the outside world, allowing her to regain a clearer perspective. She initiated contact with Steve via text, questioning the events that had transpired. In response, Steve allegedly defended himself, stating he did not operate an "evil cult" and encouraged members to lead their own lives.
Despite these interactions, Murray was still struggling when she was discharged from the psychiatric ward after 28 days. She described her state as "somewhat less psychotic" rather than fully recovered, emphasizing that her recovery was not a simple or linear process.
In interviews, Murray has reflected on the critical examination of the wellness industry, cautioning against dismissing such experiences as solely the result of ignorance or weakness. She highlighted her own background as a "well-educated, from a middle-class family" individual who made "terrible choices," stressing the importance of understanding the psychological mechanisms that can draw people into such groups.
Murray's memoir aims to destigmatize mental health crises and the experiences of individuals who have been institutionalized, noting the societal taboo surrounding those who have been "sectioned."