Greg Gutfeld, host of Fox News's "Gutfeld!," dedicated a segment of his show, "The Gripe Report," to cataloging his personal annoyances with the animal kingdom. The segment, which aired on a recent Wednesday, featured a lighthearted discussion about animals that he believes are either overhyped, intrusive, or simply unsettling.
Dolphins: The Underachievers
Gutfeld expressed a particular exasperation with the common perception of dolphins as exceptionally intelligent creatures. He questioned their intelligence by pointing out their amphibious lifestyle, stating, "what smart animal would breathe air and decide, 'Yeah, I’m going to post up in the water for my entire life.'" He also noted their lack of hands as a potential hindrance to applying their intelligence, comparing them to highly intelligent humans who are severely limited by their environment.
Unwanted Houseguests
The comedian also voiced his frustration with ants and other small creatures that find their way into homes. He described a recent experience in Florida, where ants invaded his house during the summer heat, necessitating a call to an exterminator. Gutfeld stated his general dislike for any animal attempting to enter his home, recounting his attempts to catch small lizards with a broom and a Ziploc container.
The Creepiness of Talking Birds
Gutfeld revealed a personal fear of birds, or ornithophobia, but singled out talking birds, such as parrots, as particularly unsettling. He found their ability to speak creepy, especially as their vocabulary often consists of mundane requests like wanting crackers or repeating swear words. In contrast, he expressed appreciation for animals like gorillas that can use sign language and dogs that communicate with electronic buttons, attributing this preference to a "mammalian bias."
Navigating Bear Encounters
Finally, Gutfeld addressed the confusion surrounding advice on how to react if encountered by a bear. He highlighted conflicting guidance on whether to make oneself appear smaller or larger, and whether to remain silent or make noise. He contrasted this with the seemingly straightforward advice for a shark attack – punching it in the nose – and questioned what actions might lead to a bear attack if the common advice is not followed.