Gen Z Dating Trends Spark Concern Among Relationship Experts

Gen Z's approach to romance is marked by a complex lexicon and elevated expectations, according to relationship psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban. In an analysis of contemporary dating behaviors, Taraban points to terms like "Shrekking," "Frankensteining," and "Clear Coding" as indicators of a generation navigating love with a unique set of trends.

"Shrekking" involves dating someone perceived as less attractive, with the expectation that they will be more appreciative. Taraban describes this as "not nice," suggesting it often leads to the less attractive partner being discarded when a more desirable option appears. Meanwhile, "Frankensteining" refers to attempts to alter a partner's appearance or personality to meet specific standards, a practice the psychologist deems ineffective.

Another trend, "Clear Coding," also known as "Dating with Intention," involves individuals, predominantly women according to Taraban, presenting a checklist of desired traits on a first date, which he believes often precludes a second meeting.

The financial aspect of dating also presents a significant hurdle, with the average date now costing an estimated $225. This expense, Taraban notes, makes traditional dating activities like dressing up, using transportation, and dining out less appealing for some, particularly when the potential for a substantial connection seems low.

Taraban observes a dynamic where many women on dating apps focus on a small percentage of men who are perceived as older, more successful, and wealthier. This trend, he states, results in high competition and low success rates, with approximately 85% of women pursuing only 15% of men, yielding positive outcomes only about 1% of the time.

Additional dating terminology identified includes "Friendfluence," which involves bringing friends along to assess a potential partner, and "Benching," the practice of keeping a romantic prospect as a backup option. "Wanderlove" describes vacation romances, often pursued with less inhibition due to the transient nature of the encounter. Conversely, "Wildflowering" involves an open-ended approach to dating without a predetermined checklist, which Taraban views as the most constructive method.

The issue of "Body Count," a measure of a partner's sexual history, is also prevalent, though Taraban dismisses it as a "ridiculous question" to which women are likely to provide inaccurate answers.

A "Situationship" is characterized as an undefined relationship, a concept that Taraban suggests contrasts with Gen Z's apparent preference for more structured interactions.

Furthermore, a notable trend is the decline in sexual activity among young adults. Taraban reports that a significant portion of individuals under 30, roughly one-third of men and one-sixth of women, have abstained from sex in a given year.

Despite these complexities, Taraban sees a potential shift. He notes that women are beginning to adjust their expectations, moving away from the pursuit of an exclusively wealthy and attractive partner toward seeking a "good man." He likens this realization to a game of musical chairs, where individuals will eventually be compelled to settle when the music stops.