Former Royal Butler Criticizes Decline in British Manners

A former royal butler has identified seven modern habits that he believes indicate a significant decline in British manners and class. Julius F. Smith, who served King Charles and the late Queen Elizabeth II, as well as other dignitaries and prominent figures, stated that the nation's etiquette has "fallen off a cliff."

Smith, who also served individuals like Bill Gates and Donald Trump, observed that previous generations held themselves to higher standards of behavior, a quality he feels is diminishing. "My mother always told me you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and that remains true today," he said. "We form judgements about a person's manners and class almost instantly."

He highlighted several specific habits that he finds particularly concerning.

Table Manners

Smith noted that dining out more frequently has exposed a divide in table etiquette. He criticized behaviors such as having elbows on the table, talking with food in one's mouth, or eating aggressively. "These small details are noticed far more than most people realise, and they say a great deal about how we were raised," he commented.

Smartphone Use During Meals

The former butler also called out the disrespect of being engrossed in smartphones during conversations and meals. He suggested putting phones away and out of sight. To combat this, Smith shared a friend's tactic: a house rule where whoever first looks at their phone at the table pays the bill.

Interruptions and Impatience

Smith observed a breakdown in basic conversation skills, citing the tendency for people to interrupt mid-sentence. He believes this indicates a loss of the ability to truly listen to one another. Additionally, he noted an increase in impatience and hostility, with people reacting quickly without hearing both sides of an argument.

Feet on Public Transport

A particular pet peeve for Smith is commuters placing their feet on opposite seats on buses and trains, a habit he likens to treating public transport like a personal living room.

Casual Dress in Public

Wearing pajamas to supermarkets has become a widespread habit that Smith finds shocking, contrasting it with the past when such attire would have been unthinkable for errands. Some retailers, like Tesco, have reportedly introduced policies to address this.

Forgetting Basic Courtesies

Smith expressed astonishment at the apparent disappearance of simple courtesies like "please" and "thank you," attributing this to a "self-absorbed culture" where individuals expect service without acknowledgement.

Decline in Dress Sense

He also pointed to a general trend of people no longer dressing up for occasions, from fine dining and theatre to funerals. Smith believes this reflects poor manners and a lack of respect for the venue, staff, or performers.

Despite these observations, Smith maintained that restoring good manners does not require wealth or status. "Money can't buy class, and it's entirely true," he stated. He emphasized that kindness and good manners are accessible to everyone and fundamentally involve making others feel valued. Simple actions like holding a door, offering a firm handshake, and attentive listening are key, he concluded, urging a greater effort for the sake of future generations.