As the holiday season approaches, dinner party invitations may increase, prompting questions about appropriate host gifts. Etiquette experts suggest that traditional gifts like a bottle of wine may no longer be the most appreciated gesture.
Former royal butler Julius Smith, founder of Regal Afternoon Tea, advises against bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party. He explained that a host might have already selected a specific wine to serve with the meal, potentially feeling obligated to open the guest's gift instead of their own choice. Smith recommends that if wine is given, it should be intended for the host to enjoy at their leisure, not for immediate consumption at the party.
Thoughtful Alternatives
Smith suggests that chic pantry items have gained popularity, including premium extra-virgin olive oil, olives, or truffle nuts. He also noted that elevated store cupboard essentials like well-presented tins of tuna are also becoming more common. Pickles, especially homemade or those presented in attractive jars, are now considered a gourmet gift, provided the host's tastes are known.
When considering gifts, Smith emphasizes understanding the host's preferences over opting for trendy items. He noted that a beautifully presented basket of seasonal fruit or a jar of artisanal honey can be thoughtful and useful gifts that extend beyond the event.
Gifts to Reconsider
Smith cautioned against generic boxes of chocolates, suggesting that recipients have become more discerning. If chocolates are to be given, he recommends opting for something exceptional, such as high-quality Belgian chocolates.
Candles are another item Smith advises against, citing that fragrance is a highly personal preference. He believes spending a significant amount on a candle that might not be to the host's liking is a regrettable choice unless the host's specific scent preferences are known. Similarly, while flowers can be appreciated, some individuals may not enjoy receiving them, or the timing might be inconvenient if the host is busy preparing a meal. He suggests that flowers are best given when one is certain of the recipient's fondness for them.
Smith also offered nuanced advice on other gifts. He stated that cheese and crackers are suitable only if the host is a close friend whose tastes are well-known, and he would avoid bringing a charcuterie plate to more formal occasions. A home-cooked dish, like a casserole, is acceptable, but Smith recommends asking the host beforehand to ensure it aligns with their plans for the meal. If a home-cooked dish is brought, he stresses the importance of washing and returning the serving dish to the guest.
Loaves of artisanal bread or pastries can be appropriate for morning visits but may be less suitable for formal evening dinners, depending on the occasion and the host's known preferences.