An etiquette expert has offered his perspective on recent high-society birthday celebrations, including that of Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, who turned 45 on August 4. Julius Smith, a former royal butler, suggested that while milestone birthdays are significant, the nature of their commemoration has evolved.
Smith noted that Meghan's 45th birthday was marked by solo images shared on social media, focusing solely on her activities, such as jumping into a pool and dancing in her kitchen. He commented that while such personal celebrations are valid, his concern arises when the event itself appears to take a secondary role to the publicity surrounding it. "When I was growing up, milestone birthdays were 18, 21, 50, and 60. A 45th birthday did not carry the expectation that it should become an event in itself," Smith told the Daily Mail. He added that birthdays in one's 40s and 50s should ideally celebrate relationships, contrasting this with celebrations that seem more like photoshoots.
Meghan shared images of herself celebrating, including a photo of her leaping into an outdoor pool with balloons and footage of her dancing in her kitchen while wearing a novelty tiara and a T-shirt. While her husband, Prince Harry, and their children were not visible in the shared images, reports suggest she spent her birthday with her family and a friend. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with dancing in your kitchen, wearing a playful tiara or enjoying a birthday at home with your family," Smith stated. "Where I do become slightly uneasy is when a birthday begins to feel more like a photoshoot than a family occasion."
Smith also reviewed other recent high-society birthdays. He described shipping heiress Eugenie Niarchos's 40th Greek birthday party as "centred on people, rather than presentation," highlighting the easy friendships among guests. He similarly praised Victoria Beckham's 52nd birthday celebration as "understated," emphasizing that the focus appeared to be on spending time with loved ones rather than generating headlines.
Regarding Alice Naylor-Leyland's 40th birthday in Italy, Smith admired the "real sense of occasion without descending into fancy dress," noting the black-tie dress code and formal setting. He contrasted this with Poppy Delevingne's star-studded 40th birthday in London, suggesting that while the guest list was impressive, it lacked the warmth of celebrations focused on close friends and family.
Smith concluded that the most memorable celebrations are personal and intimate, rather than grand public events. "The finest were never the biggest. They were discreet, personal occasions where everyone felt relaxed enough simply to enjoy themselves," he said. He also commented on Emma Thynn, the Marchioness of Bath, noting that a good host ensures guests are enjoying themselves, and if a celebration feels more about the host than the guests, "something has been lost."