Parents navigating the complexities of school WhatsApp groups should prioritize discretion and relevance in their communications, according to etiquette expert Julius Smith. His advice comes in the wake of an incident where the mobile number of the Duchess of Sussex was reportedly shared among parents at her children's school.
Smith, a former royal butler, highlighted that many parents misunderstand the basic dos and don'ts of these digital communication channels. The Duchess of Sussex's phone number was allegedly circulated after she joined a WhatsApp group for Year 3 parents. Screenshots from the group, which included a welcome message from the Duchess, were reportedly shared online. Sources close to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex expressed disappointment that such information would be shared by fellow parents.
Smith outlined several key principles for effective and appropriate use of school WhatsApp groups. He strongly advises against posting photographs of children in the chats, emphasizing that any message sent leaves a permanent digital trace. "Never post photographs of them, and always keep your messages relevant to what the group is actually for," Smith stated. He also cautioned against using the groups for personal attacks or airing grievances.
"Don't use the chat to score points, complain about individuals, or air grievances about a teacher, parent or pupil," he advised. A "golden rule," Smith noted, is that "what is seen and heard in the group should stay in the group." This includes respecting the privacy of information shared by other parents and avoiding offline discussions of private group matters.
Regarding practical communication, Smith suggests parents go directly to the source for specific queries. "If your child needs something, or you have a query about them specifically, it is usually quicker and kinder to ask your child or the teacher directly rather than putting it to the whole group," he explained. He stressed that school groups are intended for information genuinely useful to the entire group, not for individual matters like a forgotten PE kit.
Smith also recommended keeping messages relevant to the group's purpose, such as school events or class activities. He cited an instance where a teacher was baffled by the intensity of a WhatsApp group's reaction to his resignation, suggesting parents might have better uses for their time. For off-topic conversations, Smith advises creating separate, smaller groups with closer parent contacts.
Maintaining good manners and courtesy is also crucial, Smith emphasized. "Like any other group chat, being courteous of fellow members is key," he said. He concluded that when used well, school WhatsApp groups offer a "wonderful convenience" for busy parents, but this convenience hinges on discretion, courtesy, and relevant communication.