Erika Kirk has revealed the sage advice she received from Second Lady Usha Vance the day after her husband, conservative activist Charlie Kirk, was assassinated. In a New York Times opinion piece published on Monday, just ahead of the one-year anniversary of his killing, Kirk shared the comforting words Vance offered during a difficult conversation.
"I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” Kirk told Vance. The Second Lady, holding Kirk's hand, responded with an analogy: "You know when you’re on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are going crazy, screaming, throwing things, and then the plane lands, and the kids relax, and everything is fine again? That’s how it will be. Just get through the next 15 minutes."
Kirk described Vance's words as "seared" into her heart and noted that she frequently returns to this advice. She also reflected on the challenges she and her two children have faced in the nearly year since Kirk's death. The first holidays, birthdays, and significant dates without her husband have been particularly difficult. Kirk recalled the first Saturday without a love note, Charlie Kirk's 32nd birthday, her own birthday, and Thanksgiving, during which she struggled with traditions.
"The wave crashes on me again and again. Every time, just get through the next 15 minutes," Kirk wrote. She detailed navigating milestones such as Easter, their wedding anniversary, their son’s second birthday, the preliminary hearing for the man accused of her husband’s murder, their annual trip to Maine as a family of three, and her daughter’s fourth birthday.
It was while singing "Happy Birthday" to her daughter that Kirk realized her child was also "surviving her own little crashing waves." She observed that grief is strange, as time continues despite a desire for it to pause or reverse. However, Kirk stated that those who have passed would not want loved ones to spend their lives trying to rewind time. Initially focused on surviving the next 15 minutes, she has come to realize that Charlie Kirk would have wanted her to live.
Kirk concluded her essay by expressing her enduring love for her husband and her faith, despite the pain of his absence. "If you are living through grief, I won’t tell you what to feel or that tomorrow will be better than today. I will tell you what a dear friend told me: Just get through the next 15 minutes," she advised. She added that eventually, those 15-minute intervals will hold more than just grief, but also the "beautiful gift of life."
Charlie Kirk, 31, was fatally shot in September while speaking at Utah Valley University. Last week, prosecutors announced that the man accused of his murder, 23-year-old Tyler Robinson, could face the death penalty if convicted. Robinson has pleaded not guilty to all charges, including aggravated murder. Prosecutors stated they possess a "a mountain of evidence" against Robinson, who is accused of shooting Kirk as he addressed a crowd of thousands.
