Eric Dane's Posthumous Memoir Recounts Telling Rebecca Gayheart of ALS Diagnosis

Eric Dane candidly recalled the moment he informed his estranged wife, Rebecca Gayheart, about his amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) diagnosis in his posthumous memoir, "My Book of Days: A Memoir in Moments." Dane died on February 19 at the age of 53, less than a year after publicly announcing his illness in April 2025.

According to an excerpt shared by People, Dane described calling Gayheart after receiving his diagnosis and telling her, "It’s what we feared." The Grey's Anatomy star wrote that he couldn't remember what he said next, only that Gayheart was "wailing on the other end of the phone."

"My sobs make my body shudder, and I hear her words pouring out amid her tears, 'I’m here, we’ll fight this together, I’m not going anywhere,'" Dane shared in the memoir.

The couple, who married in October 2004, separated in September 2017. They shocked many by calling off their divorce in March 2025, just one month before Dane's public ALS announcement. They have two daughters, Georgia, 14, and Billie, 16.

Dane stated he resolved to be strong for his daughters, declaring, "I’m going to take this on. I’m going to fight. I’m going to show my girls how to walk through this life with grace and dignity, no matter what. I am going to FIGHT." He added that this became his purpose and his job.

Elsewhere in the memoir, Dane addressed the dissolution of his marriage to Gayheart, attributing it partly to his struggles with substance abuse. He listed his work hours, addiction complications, and periods of absence or emotional unavailability as contributing factors. He acknowledged that these issues weighed heavily on Gayheart.

Despite their separation, Dane noted that they remained close, co-parenting their children, taking family vacations, and spending time together. He stated they now speak daily.

In a December 2025 essay published by The Cut, Gayheart described her love for Dane as familial rather than romantic. She stated, "We had a really lovely marriage for a long time – we were married for 15 years – we created two beautiful girls. But also, lots of s**t went crazy in our relationship, and it wasn't good."

Gayheart also shared that they separated but never finalized their divorce, despite being close to it. They had not lived in the same home for eight years, and both had dated other people. She characterized their relationship as "complicated" and "confusing for people."

Before his death, Dane spoke highly of Gayheart in his Netflix special, "Famous Last Words: Eric Dane." He revealed in the program, executive produced in part by Brad Falchuk, that he had never fallen in love with another woman as deeply as he had with Rebecca.

He expressed that Gayheart was perhaps more willing to actively work on the relationship than he was, stating, "I don’t have that gene that just makes you wanna keep going regardless of what happens. I’m like, 'If there’s a hole in the boat, don’t try to patch the hole.' Scuttle the damn thing and find a new one."

Dane maintained that he and Gayheart were still "really best friends" and "still love each other deeply," even if they no longer wished to live together. He emphasized the enduring love between them.