Emily Ratajkowski has detailed her post-divorce dating experiences and the evolution of her public persona in a new essay collection, titled "Mother F***er." The model and author, who recently shared artistic nude photographs from a trip to Greece, secured a seven-figure book deal for the work after publishing a viral essay that candidly explored her sex life following her separation from Sebastian Bear-McClard in 2022.
Ratajkowski's essay, published by The Cut in June, described a shift from a perceived "Madonna" image to a more assertive "whore" persona as she began "compulsively dating." This period followed her split from Bear-McClard, a film producer, amidst rumors of his infidelity. The couple, married in 2018, share a son, Sylvester Apollo Bear, born in March 2021. Ratajkowski has stated that her marriage collapsed six months after her son's birth, leading to their separation less than a year later.
Navigating Public Perception and Personal Identity
In her writing, Ratajkowski addresses the condescending pity she felt from others after her breakup, describing herself as someone who was "unwanted" and "left." To counteract this, she adopted the persona of a "man-eating femme fatale," likening herself to characters like Poison Ivy and Catwoman. This persona was intended to be "sexual but scary" and not tragic, aiming to elicit jealousy rather than sympathy.
She recounts vivid encounters from her dating life, including a bar date with a man she described as resembling a "walking, talking Myspace page." In another instance, she details a sexual encounter where she felt a sense of satisfaction from the man's surprised reaction. Ratajkowski contrasts this with her previous dating philosophy, where she had only slept with eight partners, believing that men would only fall in love with women they perceived as "precious."
Her essay also touches on the dissonance she experienced when men she dated spoke casually about other women, a concept she initially struggled to relate to but eventually sought to embody. She states her intention was to "destroy the Madonna" and replace her with the "whore," embracing a new kind of womanhood. She notes that some men are attracted to motherhood due to their own past loneliness and are drawn to the idea of "self-sacrifice."
A Whirlwind of Romantic Rumors
Ratajkowski's post-divorce life has been marked by a series of high-profile, albeit often brief, rumored and confirmed romantic interests. These have included speculation about a romance with Brad Pitt, flings with DJ Orazio Rispo and actor Eric Andre, and a widely reported kiss with Harry Styles in Tokyo in March 2023, which reportedly caused friction with Styles' ex-girlfriend Olivia Wilde. Ratajkowski has downplayed the kiss, stating that "sometimes things just happen."
She was also seen conversing with Tom Brady at a Fourth of July party in 2023, though Brady later began a relationship with Irina Shayk. More recently, she was linked to French actor Stéphane Bak, with whom she was photographed kissing in Paris in late 2023, although an insider suggested it was a casual encounter.
Meanwhile, reports emerged in March 2023 that Bear-McClard faced allegations of "grooming" and had been terminated by the Safdie brothers' production company, Elara Pictures, amidst ongoing divorce and custody proceedings.
Ratajkowski has expressed caution about being overly candid about the circumstances of her divorce, citing concerns that outspoken women may not fare well in child custody matters. The essay collection "Mother F***er" delves further into these experiences and her evolving understanding of herself and her relationships.