Divorce Coach Offers Warning Signs to Middle-Aged Men

Simon Mills, a divorced man and author, has identified common warning signs that often precede marital dissolution among middle-aged individuals. Mills shared these insights, gleaned from personal experience and observations of his peers, in a recent publication.

According to Mills, a pervasive "victim state" can be detrimental to relationships. He explains that a mindset characterized by complaints of not being loved, a sense of unfairness, and a feeling of disrespect can create negative energy that erodes marital bonds. This perspective, often rooted in unmet expectations or perceived slights, can blind individuals to underlying problems and hinder constructive communication.

When re-entering the dating scene after a divorce, Mills suggests that men should exercise caution regarding how they discuss their past relationships. He poses the question of whether it is best to avoid the "D-word" altogether and refrain from speaking about an ex-wife when dating new partners.

Mills collaborated with divorce coach Fidel Beauhill, who specializes in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). Beauhill advises that such a victim mentality is a significant barrier to positive change. He stated, "So, complaining that nobody loves us, how unfair everything is, that we are not respected any more... this is what we call the ‘victim state’ and it is very bad energy."

While the specific details of Mills' own divorce are not elaborated upon, his commentary suggests a broader concern about the state of middle-aged marriages and the shared experiences that contribute to their breakdown. The advice targets men specifically, encouraging them to be aware of these potential pitfalls in their relationships.