In her latest column, Dear Abby, also known as Jeanne Phillips, provides guidance on a range of personal challenges, including a marriage lacking intimacy, difficult family dynamics, and navigating charitable requests during bereavement.
A husband of 20 years expresses deep loneliness and a lack of intimacy with his wife, with whom he has slept in separate beds and had no sexual relations for over five years. He states that his wife is not invested in the relationship and is resistant to seeking professional help. The husband, who works two jobs while his wife stays at home, fears the repercussions of a divorce on his children and career. Dear Abby advised him to seek counseling for himself, suggesting that it would help him clarify his thoughts and determine his next steps. She noted that his marriage, from her perspective, effectively ended five years ago and that he should not be expected to continue living in such circumstances.
Another reader, "Had It in Florida," sought advice on how to manage condescending remarks from her husband's sister, "Jewel," and her husband. The incident in question occurred at a family gathering hosted by the reader, where her cooking was disparaged by Jewel's husband, who then announced they would go out to get KFC. Jewel, while not participating in the insult, offered a backhanded compliment to the host. Dear Abby suggested that while avoiding Jewel entirely might be difficult due to her being the husband's sister, the reader could exclude them from gatherings where she is the host chef, or perhaps offer them KFC with a smile.
Finally, a reader named "Memorial Malaise" is experiencing grief over recent losses of friends and relatives. The families of the deceased have requested donations to religious organizations or charities the reader does not wish to support. The reader inquired if it would be acceptable to donate to a charity that aligns with her values, such as one that feeds children or benefits humanity. Dear Abby responded that it would be inappropriate to honor the deceased with a donation to a charity of one's own choosing. Instead, she suggested that if the reader wishes to support the family but not the specified causes, she should enclose a check with a thoughtful sympathy card, trusting that the funds would help offset funeral expenses.
Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Readers can contact Dear Abby via http://www.DearAbby.com or by mail.