Dear Abby columnist Jeanne Phillips, also known as Abigail Van Buren, recently provided guidance on two distinct personal dilemmas, addressing a mother's disapproval of her son's girlfriend and a man's unrequited love for his best friend.
In one letter, an "ANXIOUS MOM IN VIRGINIA" expressed her dislike for her son's girlfriend, Trish, describing her as rude and disrespectful. The mother stated that Trish had made no effort to connect with the son's family and questioned how to encourage her son to find a more suitable partner. Abby advised the mother to extend herself and attempt to befriend Trish, suggesting she try to understand Trish's background and whether she has a healthy relationship with her own mother. Phillips recommended teaching etiquette if necessary, with the hope that the mother could grow to love her son's partner rather than merely tolerate her.
Unrequited Affection
The second letter came from someone who identified as "HIS NON-BOYFRIEND IN CANADA," detailing a deep romantic love for a friend named Drew, whom they met online a year and a half prior. The writer described a constant connection through daily calls and texts, and confirmed their feelings during in-person meetings. However, Drew is already in a relationship, and the writer acknowledges that their feelings may not be mutual, though Drew considers them a good friend. The writer is seeking advice on how to proceed without jeopardizing the friendship or ending the relationship with Drew.
Abby's response suggested that an honest conversation is overdue. She recommended asking Drew if his partner is aware of their close friendship. Phillips noted that such extensive communication often implies more than just friendship. The columnist advised that if Drew's feelings are not mutual, the writer needs to accept that reality. However, if the feelings are reciprocated, then both individuals would need to engage in serious consideration and planning.
Dear Abby was founded by Pauline Phillips and is currently written by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips. The column offers advice on a range of personal issues and is syndicated internationally.