In a recent column, Dear Abby addressed a letter from a 42-year-old woman in Texas who expressed disturbing thoughts despite leading a seemingly happy life. The reader, identified as "LOW SELF-WORTH," described having a good job, a loving boyfriend, and a supportive family, but struggles with persistent low self-esteem.
Despite her positive circumstances, the woman revealed that for the past two years, she has harbored a desire to be in a car accident or suffer an injury. She finds herself thinking "that should have been me" when witnessing accidents on the highway. She emphasized that she does not wish to harm herself or others but is unable to shake these thoughts.
The reader hesitated to discuss these feelings with her boyfriend for fear of him becoming worried about her safety. She also expressed apprehension about seeking professional counseling, fearing she might be prescribed antidepressants or even hospitalized. She wrote to Dear Abby seeking reassurance that her thoughts were not indicative of insanity.
Dear Abby, whose column is penned by Jeanne Phillips, reassured the reader that she was not alone and not "crazy." Abby suggested that prolonged struggles with low self-esteem can lead individuals to feel subconsciously that they deserve unhappiness, and therefore may feel a need for punishment when good things happen.
Abby addressed the reader's fear of hospitalization, stating that many people share this apprehension when considering mental health support. The columnist encouraged the reader to seek professional help, suggesting that her current strength and capacity for growth would enable her to overcome these feelings, independent of her relationship.
In a separate query, Dear Abby also advised a reader named "LONELY" against sending a sympathy card with romantic intentions to a man who had recently lost his wife. Abby suggested that any gesture should remain strictly friendly and sympathetic, and that any future romantic pursuit should be initiated by the man when he is ready.