Dear Abby: Fiance's Objections to Daughter's Close Relationship Flagged as Controlling

A woman seeking advice from Dear Abby has been told to consider if her fiance's objections to her close relationship with her daughter are a sign of controlling behavior.

The letter writer describes a daily routine where she speaks with her 25-year-old daughter every morning and afternoon. The daughter is married with two young children, and the mother feels proud of her and enjoys offering support and advice. She considers her daughter her "best friend" and believes this closeness is normal for mothers and daughters.

Her fiance, however, finds this frequent communication "weird" and expresses annoyance. The letter writer stated that she works full-time and her daughter works part-time, and while they live in the same town, their busy schedules mean they don't see each other often in person. She believes her communication with her daughter does not detract from her relationship with her fiance.

In her response, Dear Abby, penned by Jeanne Phillips, suggested that the fiance's reaction might be more than just a difference of opinion. "For your fiance to dictate how often you talk with your daughter — when you’re not with him — is more than a little bit controlling," Abby wrote. "It’s time to ask yourself if his need to control manifests itself in other ways. If it does, you may want to reconsider his status as fiance."

Abby also addressed two other reader letters. In one, a reader expressed concern about a neighbor who keeps their dog tied outside for extended periods, noting that the animal appears to shiver and paces, barking late into the night, especially in freezing temperatures. Abby advised the concerned reader to research local animal control authorities and report the situation, stating that it is up to the authorities to determine if abuse is occurring.

In a third letter, a reader inquired about a friend whose husband refuses to let her use his cellphone, even in emergencies, stating it is for his "private use only." The reader also mentioned that the husband stayed behind when the family moved and followed them days later, prompting her to question if her friend should have concerns about her marriage. Dear Abby responded that while people who act secretively may have something to hide, the inquiring reader should not interfere and should leave the matter to the friend to address.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, who is Jeanne Phillips. The column was originally founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips.