Columnist Jeanne Phillips, known as Dear Abby, has responded to a reader who is experiencing financial strain and emotional distress in a cohabiting relationship.
The reader, identified as "Miserable in Arizona," wrote to Phillips explaining that three years after meeting a widower, they moved in together. However, over the past two years, the relationship has become unhappy. The reader states they pay half the rent, all grocery and gas expenses, and consistently covers dining out costs. Additionally, the partner reportedly takes the reader's medication, leaving them with only half the prescribed dosage. The reader feels obligated to stay because there is no physical abuse, but describes the relationship as one where the partner is moody unless the reader is constantly catering to their needs. The reader lives on Social Security and feels stuck, reluctant to burden their grown children with the situation.
Phillips advised "Miserable" to inform her children about the relationship's difficulties and seek their assistance in leaving the situation. Phillips questioned whose name was on the lease and suggested that if it is not the reader's, there is no impediment to ending the current living arrangement. The advice column, founded in 1956 by Pauline Phillips, is currently penned by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips.
In another letter, a reader inquired about wedding gift etiquette, specifically questioning if a $400 gift is expected for a couple attending a wedding where the reception plate cost is $200 per person. The reader expressed bafflement regarding these perceived guidelines.
Phillips dismissed these "guidelines" as existing only in the minds of those hosting the event. She clarified that a wedding reception is not a transaction and that the cost of the celebration is the responsibility of the bride, groom, and their parents. Phillips advised the reader that their wedding gift should reflect what they can comfortably afford.
A third letter addressed a serious health concern related to Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). The writer's wife died from non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) which had progressed to cirrhosis. The writer noted that despite being diagnosed with PCOS in 1990, his wife was never advised by her doctors to get her liver checked. The writer highlighted statistics from the World Health Organization and the National Institutes of Health, indicating that a significant percentage of women with PCOS develop fatty liver disease. He urged Phillips to use her platform to encourage PCOS patients to advocate for themselves and request liver scans.
Phillips expressed sympathy for the loss and acknowledged the reader's concern. She encouraged readers to discuss the possibility of additional testing with their doctors, while noting that insurance coverage for such tests can vary.