The long-running "Dear Abby" advice column recently addressed a complex relationship issue involving a mother whose boyfriend does not want her adult son, who has autism, to live with them. The reader, identified as “Clueless in the West,” sought guidance on how to navigate this situation.
Abby, writing under the name Jeanne Phillips, advised the reader to thoroughly question her boyfriend’s intentions and expectations. She emphasized the need to understand what arrangements he envisions for the son during this proposed “honeymoon” period and for how long it would last. Abby also prompted the reader to consider alternative living arrangements for her son, their costs, and who would be responsible for them, especially given that the son is 18 and not able to live independently.
The column also touched on the broader topic of planning for the son's future, regardless of the relationship, including exploring what would happen if the mother were no longer able to care for him. Suggestions included checking with other relatives for support or considering group living arrangements. The Autism Society of America was recommended as a resource for navigating these issues.
In a separate query, the column addressed a widower who was upset that a friend announced his wife’s death on Facebook six hours after he found her. Abby expressed sympathy for the widower and labeled the friend’s action as a “serious social media faux pas,” stating that public announcements of death should not precede the immediate family’s official notification and that waiting a respectful period is crucial. Abby noted that the friend’s timing was particularly insensitive.
The column concluded with a Labor Day greeting to readers.