Dear Abby: Bachelor Party Planners Face Financial Fallout

A man who planned a bachelor party for 12 people in Boston is seeking advice after three attendees withdrew from the trip after the costs had been finalized and paid.

According to a letter to Dear Abby, the initial plan included a two-night stay and a Bruins game, with the total cost amounting to $565 per person, which also covered the bachelor's expenses. After the price was announced, three individuals backed out. The planner offered installment options, but these were declined.

While one spot was filled, the group was left with a significant financial deficit. During the trip, the remaining attendees decided the dropouts should contribute to the nonrefundable losses. A reduced fee of $200 per person was requested from those who had backed out. One person paid the full amount, another paid half, and the third has not responded.

The letter writer questioned whether they were wrong to ask for payment from those who withdrew late, stating that commitments should be honored once bookings are made. The writer also mentioned that money is tight, but the commitments were made before the group committed to nonrefundable expenses.

Dear Abby, penned by Abigail Van Buren, advised that the planner should have collected deposits for the trip, similar to how hotels operate, to mitigate potential losses from cancellations. The advice column suggested that the $200 compromise was reasonable given the circumstances, acknowledging fault on both sides. Abby recommended thanking the person who paid in full and not pressuring the others further, suggesting that they might be embarrassed by their inability to afford the trip and that it's impossible to extract payment from someone who cannot pay.

In a separate query, a grandmother asked for advice regarding her 11-year-old granddaughter who has exhibited hateful behavior towards her for years, refusing to acknowledge her or show gratitude, despite the grandmother paying for expensive outings for the girl and her friends. Abby advised the grandmother to stop rewarding the granddaughter's behavior by withholding gifts and outings, and to cease physical contact. The advice suggested maintaining a polite but distant demeanor, focusing on other relatives at family gatherings, and letting the granddaughter's parents address her behavior.