Dear Abby Advises Woman to Consult Lawyer Over Living With Husband's Ex-Mistress
A Texas woman struggling with her husband's decision to let his former mistress move into their home seeks advice on whether to pursue divorce.
Columnist Dear Abby has advised a woman in Texas to consult a lawyer regarding her living situation, which involves her husband's former mistress residing with them. The woman, who signed herself as "Losing My Mind in Texas," wrote to Abby detailing the challenging circumstances.
According to the letter, the husband, identified as "Dirk," had an affair more than 20 years ago and has maintained contact with the woman since then. Approximately 16 months prior to the letter, the mistress informed Dirk she was in a difficult situation, leading him to offer her a place to live in their home without first consulting his wife. The writer expressed distress over the mistress's living habits, describing her as "living like a pig," with a filthy room and a pattern of breaking household items without offering to pay for repairs.
Furthermore, the wife stated that Dirk had wanted to get the mistress's teeth fixed, and she ended up paying for the procedure with her credit card. The mistress allegedly promised to repay the $5,000 cost but has only paid $510. The wife noted that the mistress is employed and has no apparent reason for not settling the debt.
While the wife no longer fears infidelity, as she believes the mistress's appearance has changed significantly, she questioned how much longer she should tolerate the situation. She mentioned that an earlier attempt to have the mistress leave was thwarted by Dirk, who managed to persuade her to stay. Dirk has also refused marriage counseling, stating he sees no need for it. When asked why he keeps the mistress around, he reportedly said he enjoys her company.
Faced with this dilemma, the letter writer asked Dear Abby whether she should initiate divorce proceedings or let the situation continue. Dear Abby's response was direct: "My dear, you should have left long ago." The columnist urged the woman to "call a lawyer immediately" but advised her to resist moving out until she had consulted her attorney, as abandoning the home could potentially harm her case in divorce proceedings.
In a separate letter, a writer described a difficult situation with a younger, attractive co-worker. The writer admitted to developing a crush on the co-worker, leading to a separation to protect his marriage. However, the breakup caused the co-worker significant distress, affecting her work and alienating her social circle. The writer has encouraged her to seek professional help for her depression, which he finds emotionally draining and no longer wishes to be around. Dear Abby advised the writer to firmly but kindly reiterate the need for professional help and to explain that he is not equipped to provide the support she requires, ultimately backing away from the situation.