Dear Abby Advises Woman After Husband Stole Pain Medication

Dear Abby is advising a woman who discovered her husband stole her pain medication and allowed her to blame their son for the theft.

The reader, identified as "Needing Direction in Virginia," wrote to Dear Abby explaining that her husband stole pain pills twice. The first instance occurred nine years ago, after a car accident left her with an injury. She had stockpiled leftover medication for a cruise and discovered it missing. Her oldest son had been staying with them at the time, and she confronted him. He denied taking the medication and subsequently stopped speaking to her for months.

More recently, after two major surgeries, the woman was prescribed pain medication. Approximately a month ago, she found these pills were also gone. Her husband initially denied knowing what happened, suggesting someone else must have taken them. After weeks of questioning, she realized her husband was the culprit.

She expressed devastation over the broken trust and the fact that her husband allowed her to blame their son, jeopardizing their relationship. She left their home and made her husband inform his parents of the situation. However, she felt she became the scapegoat, with her husband's parents criticizing her for not "standing by her man."

Her husband has entered outpatient rehabilitation two weeks prior to her writing, but the couple has not addressed their marriage. The woman asked if trust could be rebuilt.

Dear Abby responded by first urging the woman to apologize to her son. She also recommended that both the woman and her son consider attending Nar-Anon, a fellowship for individuals affected by the drug addiction of a loved one or friend. Abby stated that the husband is an addict who has broken trust.

Before deciding on the future of their marriage, Abby advised the woman to understand the potential implications of staying with her husband, noting that relapse is possible. She cautioned against letting her in-laws guilt her into reuniting with their son and emphasized that significant time must pass with her husband remaining sober before trust can be re-established.