Dear Abby, a widely syndicated advice column penned by Jeanne Phillips, recently addressed two challenging personal situations. One letter detailed a woman's struggle with her adult daughter and husband, while the second concerned a reader unsure how to respond to a friend facing child neglect charges.
In the first scenario, a retired woman nearing 76 described a "total dysfunction" with her 32-year-old daughter and 75-year-old husband. The daughter, who has OCD and refuses medication, is described as controlling and completely dependent on her mother. She reportedly yells at her mother while being driven and verbally abuses her when she doesn't get her way. The letter writer noted that police have been called in the past, which only worsened the situation for her. Her daughter is seeking funding for housing while pursuing a second master's degree on a partial scholarship.
The letter writer also detailed her husband's behavior, stating he leaves home before their daughter wakes and returns late, avoiding interaction by sitting in his car. She mentioned teaching for 40 years and raising three children while her husband had a "cushy job" for his parents. Furthermore, she discovered her husband has a girlfriend and expressed a desire to leave the marriage, but fears he will pursue her pension, as he has no retirement savings and continues to work.
Dear Abby advised the letter writer to consult a lawyer, emphasizing that her pension might be protected and that legal counsel could assist. The column also urged her to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline, noting that emotional and potential financial abuse qualifies her as a victim.
The second letter involved a reader who learned through a local news website that her close friend had her children removed and placed into protective custody due to multiple felony child neglect charges. The friend had not disclosed the situation to the reader, despite knowing she had lost custody prior to this revelation. The reader expressed conflict about whether to reach out to her friend for an explanation or to sever ties permanently, feeling guilt for not knowing the severity of the neglect her friend's children endured.
Dear Abby suggested that the reader consider what she stands to gain from contacting her friend. Since the news was public, the friend likely assumes others know. If the reader feels a desire to offer support due to their long relationship, she should reach out. However, if the motivation is mere curiosity, Abby advised listening to her intuition and stepping away from the situation.
Dear Abby was founded by Pauline Phillips, also known as Abigail Van Buren, and is currently written by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips.