The advice column "Dear Abby" recently tackled two distinct reader dilemmas. One letter writer, "Eyes on Her in Connecticut," detailed marital strain following his wife's substantial weight loss over two years.
He stated that while he is more attracted to his wife of 23 years and their three children, he has observed her "wandering eye," which he finds disrespectful. The couple, both in their early 40s, have argued about this issue, with the wife attributing his concerns to insecurity. An attempt to resolve the situation with a therapist for his wife reportedly worsened the situation, as the therapist diagnosed the husband with "narcissistic traits," creating further division.
"Eyes on Her" expressed thoughts of divorce and sought guidance. Dear Abby, whose real name is Jeanne Phillips, questioned the therapist's remote diagnosis of the husband. Abby acknowledged that increased attractiveness can lead to more attention and that individuals might revel in their new status. However, she emphasized that this does not equate to infidelity and suggested the husband consider counseling for himself.
The second letter, from "Failed Host in Pennsylvania," described a chaotic family birthday dinner. The grandparent hosted an event for two adult children, their spouses, and three grandchildren. The occasion was complicated by the presence of two uninvited friends of the birthday boy, aged 8, who were staying over and attended the dinner. The children reportedly ran and screamed throughout the house, including at the dinner table, making conversation difficult. They also used their bare hands to take food from the buffet.
The writer did not intervene, believing it was the responsibility of the children's parents. However, her husband later suggested she should have spoken up as the host. Dear Abby affirmed that the host should have set and enforced the rules in her own home, stating that the children clearly had not been taught appropriate behavior, and that the host was indeed the appropriate person to address the situation.
"Dear Abby" was founded by Pauline Phillips and is now written by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips.