Dear Abby Addresses Family Conflicts Over LGBTQ+ Rights and Adult Children's Independence
The advice column tackles two letters concerning differing family values and mature children's roles in relationships.
Columnist Dear Abby has weighed in on two distinct familial dilemmas, one involving neighborhood tensions over LGBTQ+ rights and another concerning a partner's prolonged coddling of an adult son. In the first scenario, a lesbian couple with a transgender child seeks advice on navigating interactions with neighbors whose fundamentalist church views homosexuality as a sin and transgender identity as a mental illness.
The letter writer, identified as "THE LESBIAN NEXT DOOR," expressed concern about the emotional safety of her child if playdates were to occur at the neighbors' home, given the hosts' beliefs. She also noted that her own home is too "queer-friendly" to host the neighbors' child. Dear Abby suggested a polite refusal of playdates, citing a lack of close acquaintance as a sufficient reason. For fostering neighborly relations, Abby recommended a casual outdoor barbecue to gauge the compatibility of the two families.
The second letter writer, "DATING TWO IN CALIFORNIA," described a relationship challenge with her boyfriend, Dirk, in their late 50s. Dirk, a divorced father of an adult son, habitually orders extra food during dates to bring home for his son. The letter writer finds this behavior "rude" and believes it detracts from the intimacy of their adult-only outings, likening the situation to dating two people instead of one. She feels Dirk uses his "single dad" status as an excuse for what she considers excessive coddling of a self-sufficient adult child.
Dear Abby advised "DATING" that if she feels suffocated by Dirk's dynamic with his son, moving in together would likely be detrimental to their relationship. The columnist suggested that unless she wishes to become a "family of three," she should consider ending the relationship. The column also noted its long history, with the current advice columnist, Jeanne Phillips, having penned the column for nearly four decades, succeeding her mother, Pauline Phillips, who founded it in 1956.