Dear Abby columnist Jeanne Phillips, also known as Abigail Van Buren, has weighed in on two distinct reader dilemmas: one involving a husband's culinary shortcomings and another concerning a partner's persistent infidelity.
In the first case, a reader identified as "Get Out of the Kitchen" expressed frustration with her husband's cooking. Despite being married for 10 years, she dreads eating his meals, citing his refusal to follow recipes, inconsistent seasoning, and nutritionally unbalanced dishes. She noted that he had set food on fire twice and once prepared a zucchini dish with cinnamon and cloves that both agreed tasted terrible. The reader works full-time in a physically demanding job, attends community college classes, and pet sits as a side hustle, leaving her with limited time to cook every meal. Her husband works a standard 40-hour week.
Abby advised "Get Out of the Kitchen" to explain to her husband that while his willingness to help is appreciated, she is no longer willing to consume his "experiments." She suggested guiding him through simple, basic meals without allowing for creative deviations until he masters fundamental cooking techniques. Abby added that if he could consistently prepare just one easy meal, it would be an improvement.
The second letter, from "Looking for Happiness in Florida," detailed a 25-year relationship where an engagement occurred after four years but marriage never materialized. The partner provides excuses each year the subject of marriage is raised. The reader stated that her partner is a good provider and a skilled liar, having engaged in and continued multiple outside relationships, some of which she is aware of. Their finances and homeownership are intertwined, making separation financially difficult for both, as they are both retired.
Abby's response to "Looking for Happiness" was direct. She advised against further discussion of marriage, asserting that the partner has no intention of altering a status quo that benefits him. Abby recommended that the reader contact an attorney immediately to understand her financial standing. She emphasized that unless the reader is prepared to accept the unhappy reality indefinitely, a change in circumstances is necessary.